Tech #1: Hey Mr. Richards!

PR: Um, do I know you?!

Tech #2: YEAH! Remember? You were talking with us last week at NMN?!

Richards stares blankly at all of them...

Tech #3: Yeah, you promised us raises and all kinds of good benefits after you said you were going to become NEW World Champ!

Tech #1: Yeah, are you getting a contract?

PR: Oh, yeah...I remember you guys now. Listen guys, if you are all smart, and I suppose you are since you all are audio/visual techie-types....stick with me, Paul The Power Richards. I am going to prove to all those doubters out there....

Tech #2: Out where?

PR: Out all over the place, pal...anyways, I am gonna prove to them why they call me the Living Legend.

Tech #3: Who are they?!

PR: People in general call me the Living Legend. Anyways, tonight...what better way to welcome Paul Richards back to the NEW, back to the big leagues....than at STARRCADE! Guys, I am ready to go!

Tech #1: ALRIGHT! Rumor has it that a former ICW World Champ is about to sign a NEW contract tonight!

Tech #3: And ain't you a former ICW Champ?

PR: THREE-time former!

Tech #2: WHOA!

PR: Yeah, impressive, huh?

Tech #2: Yeah, who were the three guys that beat ya?!

PR: Watch it, pallie! I got robbed on those three decisions! Anyways, I am gonna go into that arena right now, look for Grant and Z, and sign my John Hancock on that contract, and I will be a NEW Superstar!

Tech #1: ALRIGHT! You got a match tonight?

PR: Not that I know of, but hey, since my star power is so bright, who knows what the suits will want to do tonight..... Richards walks off and enters the arena...

Beautiful red-and-green pyrotechnics explode near the entranceway and fill the inside of the Houston Astrodome with festive light. The roof practically pops off the place with the noise from the tens of thousands of fans in attendance as, to the television audience, the announcing voices of Mike Ixnay and Hawk Manson begin to make themselves heard.

MI: Over 65,000 fans have filled the Houston Astrodome tonight. We welcome you, fans, to NEW Starrcade! And what an amazing show we have for you fans tonight.

HM: You've got that right, Mike, it's gonna be incredible! Tonight's main event pits Damage Inc. against Sonic Youth in a sky-high triple cage match, and it will be for the NEW World Tag Team Championship!

The camera shifts focus to the announcing table...

MI: Hello everybody, I’m Mike Ixnay, and alongside me is my new broadcast partner, Hawk Manson. And this is Starrcade!

HM: I can’t wait, Mike, this is the very first time I’ve had the privilege of doing the color commentary for an NEW pay-per-view.

MI: And you certainly picked a good one in which to start. Other than our main event, fans, we’ll have members of Damage Inc. competing in two separate singles contests-- both title matches. D. R. H. will vie for Trey Reed’s Intercontinental Title, and Hardcore Jay will put his Hardcore Title on the line against Lestat.

HM: And both of those matches have special stipulations, Mike... hardcore-style, just like Damage Inc. likes it. The I-C Title match will be a regular hardcore match, and the Hardcore Title match will be a Hardcore City Street Fight.

MI: Also tonight, ladies and gentlemen, “Blue Inferno” Steve Grant, the first and only four-time NEW World Champion, will be the NEW welcoming committee for Vigor.

HM: Vigor’s in a load of trouble, I know... Steve was feeling very surly after that loss in the #1 contender’s match last week.

MI: And another interesting contest for you, fans-- we’ll have a match between the North American Champion, Casanova, and the Cruiserweight Champion, Daniel “The Holy One” Maloney. But here’s where it gets interesting... we’ll have a match earlier in the night between Cosmic D and Haylee Hash’eesh. Whichever one of those two ladies wins their match will determine what title will be up for grabs when ‘Nova and Maloney hook it up.

HM: That’s right, Mike. If Cosmic D can defeat Haylee, then Casanova will get a shot at Maloney’s Cruiserweight Title. If Haylee defeats Cosmic, then Maloney gets a shot at ‘Nova’s North American belt. Either way, it’s gonna be a lot of fun!

MI: And with that in mind... their match is next!

The scene flashes back to December 8, when Casanova and Cosmic D entered their locker room, only to discover that they were sharing it with Daniel Maloney and Haylee Hash’essh. Cosmic and Haylee get into a huge fight, causing Daniel and Haylee to eventually leave the locker room...

Daniel: Mr. Nova. Just remember. You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but... don’t think I don’t see through you.

And ahead to two days later, when Daniel Maloney scores a major upset win in the eight-man ladder match to become the first NEW Cruiserweight Champion in two years...

Daniel: This! *points to the Cruiserweight Title belt around his waist* This is proof to you, Mr. Casanova, that arrogance doesn’t pay. Ignorance doesn’t pay, and in the name of God neither does your vanity!...

...It may come as some shock to you, being second-best for once, and if you have any queries you’d like answered I have no problem giving you extra class time. For losing is a lesson we all must be taught... let me be your teacher...

Cut ahead to the promo by The Canadian Couple...

Cosmic: Hay’lee? Beat me? Yeah, right, that’s a laugh... I’m Cosmic D, dammit! I’m the wife of the greatest North American Champion in NEW history! I’m the most talented woman in wrestling today! That dime-a-dozen crack ho doesn’t stand a chance against the first lady of Canadian wrestling.

Casanova: You’re damn right! And I have never doubted you for a second. Watching you decimate her this Monday at Starrcade is going to be so glorious, and will set the mood perfectly for later in the evening when I strut down the ramp, hit the Novabomb and walk out the double champion that I should have been last week! This week it’s time for me to once again decorate my simply ravishing waist, and justify my ego, with a second NEW title in less than two months with the promotion!

Cut back to the arena...

MI: Okay folks, it's time to see our women wrestlers fight.

HM: All right, let’s do this thing!

MI: We take you now to ring announcer Larry Nabisco.

“In And Out Of Love” by Bon Jovi starts up and the fans give a loud pop as Cosmic D comes strutting out from the back and to the center of the entrance ramp.

LN: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is the inaugural match of the NEW women’s division! Introducing first, one-half of The Canadian Couple... Cosmic D!

Cosmic walks down to the ring and climbs the steps onto the apron and climbs in between the second rope...

MI: Cosmic looks very psyched for this contest, Hawk.

HM: She does indeed, Mike. This is going to be an awesome way to get the Women’s Division kicked off.

“Last Resort” by Papa Roach starts up and the fans cheer as Hay'lee walks out to the entrance ramp...

LN: Her opponent is Haylee Hash’essh!

Haylee takes a look at the ring and then sprints down to the ring and slides through the bottom rope and gets right into the face of Cosmic D.

MI: Well Hawk this should be exciting as both of these girls are standing face to face with each other and they are exchanging words.

HM: Yeah WELL I THINK HAYLEE TOOK ONE OF THOSE WORDS A LITTLE BIT BAD BECAUSE SHE JUST SLAPPED THE TASTE OUT OF COSMIC D'S MOUTH!!!!

MI: AND COSMIC D JUST SLAPPED HAYLEE!!!!! WAIT LOOK OUT!!!!! HAY'LEE JUST TACKLED COSMIC AND BOTH OF THESE GIRLS ARE ROLLING AROUND TRYING TO TEAR EACH OTHER APART!!!!

HM: DAMN, THEY’RE NOT WASTING ANY TIME!

MI: Cosmic D comes out on top and she's slapping away at the face of Haylee. Wait Haylee manages to roll her over AND NOW SHE'S SLAPPING AWAY AT HER!!!!! AND PULLING HAIR AT THAT!!!!

HM: Haylee now gets to her feet and stomps the stomach of Cosmic D. Now Haylee picks her up by the hair AND TOSSES HER IN THE AIR AND TO THE MAT!!!!

MI: I think she just pulled out some locks. Haylee picks Cosmic back to her feet and sends her to the ropes. Haylee ducks as Cosmic D runs back BUT COSMIC D KICKS HER IN THE FACE!!!!

HM: AND COSMIC D TAKES HER DOWN WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!!!!

MI: Cosmic D makes the cover 1, 2, and Haylee kicks out of it. HM: Oh man I'm telling you Mike, it doesn't get any better than this! These two women just want to destroy one another!

MI: You’re damn right. Meanwhile back to the action now Cosmic D picks Haylee up and sends her over to the turnbuckle. Cosmic D runs AND HITS A CARTWHEEL ELBOW DROP RIGHT INTO THE THROAT OF HAYLEE!!!!

HM: Haylee walks out and Cosmic D takes her down with a snap-mare takeover FOLLOWED BY AN ELBOW DROP!!!! Here's the cover 1... 2... and Haylee gets the shoulder up.

MI: Cosmic D now picking her back up and sending her to the ropes. Haylee comes back and Cosmic D jumps in the air and Haylee heads the other way. Haylee comes back and D tries a clothesline but missed AND HAYLEE IS STANDING RIGHT THERE!!!!! D turns around AND HAY'LEE HITS HER WITH A DDT!!!!

HM: Here's the cover 1... 2... NO!!!! Cosmic D got the shoulder up.

MI: Haylee a little upset about that count but there's nothing she can do about it except beat on Cosmic D a little longer. HM: Which is exactly what she's doing Mike.

MI: Hay'lee picks D back up and tosses her over to the turnbuckle AND SHE FOLLOWS RIGHT BEHIND WITH A CLOTHESLINE TO THE BACK OF THE NECK!!!!! Hay'lee turns her around and climbs up to the second rope AND HERE COME THE PUNCHES!

Fans: 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10... 11... 12... 13... 14... 15... 16... 17... 18... 19... 20!!!!

HM: GOOD GOD!!!!!

MI: TWENTY PUNCHES TO THE FACE!!!!! HAYLEE IS NOT FOOLING AROUND HERE TONIGHT!!!!!

HM: She finally lets go of her and Cosmic D just falls right on the mat.

MI: And Haylee is going up top now. She's all the way up top AND HAYLEE COMES DOWN WITH A BODY SPLASH!!!! HOOKS THE LEG COVER, 1... 2... NO!!!!! COSMIC D WAS ABLE TO KICK OUT OF IT!!!!!

HM: How the hell did she do that?

MI: I'm not so sure about that one. Haylee picks Cosmic D up AND D HITS HER IN THE STOMACH!!!!! Cosmic D runs over to the ropes here comes a clothesline from Haylee but D misses it and goes the other way. Haylee falls to the mat BUT COSMIC D ISN'T FOOLED!!!! SHE PICKS HER UP BY THE HAIR AND SLAPS HER IN THE FACE!!!! HAY'LEE TURNS BACK AROUND AND COSMIC D HITS HER WITH A BULLDOG!!!! THAT SHOULD BE ALL, HERE'S THE COVER 1... 2... NO!!!!! HAY'LEE KICKED OUT OF IT!!!!!

HM: What a match these two girls are having HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!

MI: HEY WAIT A MINUTE THAT WAS MY LINE BUT WAIT A MINUTE HERE!!!! All of a sudden you see Casanova run down the entrance ramp and hop on the apron...

MI: WHAT THE HELL IS CASANOVA DOING HERE?!!!!

HM: Looks like he's distracting the referee! WHILE COSMIC D RUNS OUT OF THE RING AND GRABS A CHAIR!!!!!

MI: BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!!!!!! AND HERE COMES DANIEL MALONEY!!!!!

Maloney comes up from behind Casanova and pulls him off the ring apron...

HM: MALONEY AND CASANOVA ARE STARTING TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER HERE AT RINGSIDE!!!!!

MI: The referee is outside trying to break these two up AND INSIDE THE RING COSMIC D IS WAITING FOR HAYLEE TO GET TO HER FEET!!!! HAYLEE IS UP AND D IS ABOUT TO HIT HER NO!!!! HAYLEE KICKS HER IN THE GUT AND THE CHAIR FALLS!!!! HAYLEE GRABS HER BY THE HEAD AND PUTS HER BETWEEN HER LEGS AND GOOD GOD!!!! HAYLEE JUST HIT A PILEDRIVER ON COSMIC D ON THE CHAIR!!!!! SHE GOES FOR THE COVER BUT THERE IS NO REFEREE!!!!!

HM: SHE'S ALREADY WON THIS THING MIKE!!!!

MI: BUT THERE IS NO REFEREE WAIT THE REFEREE SEES WHAT'S HAPPENING AND SLIDES IN THE RING, HERE'S THE COVER 1... 2... NO!!!!!! NO!!!!!!! COSMIC D KICKED OUT OF IT!!!!!!! COSMIC D KICKED OUT OF IT!!!!!! AND HAYLEE IS PISSED OFF TO NO END!!!! SHE'S GETTING IN THE REFEREE’S FACE AND THAT'S ALLOWING COSMIC D TO GET TO HER FEET!!!!!

HM: WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!!

MI: Cosmic D is up and SHE GRABS THE HEAD OF HAYLEE IN A REVERSE DDT POSITION BUT WAIT!!!!!! SHE SPINS AROUND AND DROPS HER DOWN IN A DIAMOND CUTTER!!!!! SHE CALLS THAT THE COSMIC D-LIGHT!!!!! HERE'S THE COVER 1... 2... 3!!! IT'S OVER!!!!! SHE'S WON THIS THING!!!!!

“In And Out Of Love” starts up again and the fans cheer as Cosmic D gets up to celebrate. She’s carried off by Casanova, while Maloney stays in the ring, trying to help Haylee to her feet.

MI: Well Hawk, it looks like Daniel Maloney will be putting his Cruiserweight Title on the line tonight against Casanova. HM: And it looks to me as if Casanova and Cosmic have some... ahem... business ahead of them when they return to their locker room.

The scene cuts to the back. Steve Grant and Nick Z. are talking. Paul Richards comes into view...

PR: Guys! Just the guys I was looking for!

SG: What the....

PR: Surprised to see me, huh? Okay, where's that contract? We'll get it signed, and then you guys can put me in a match tonight, since this is Starrcade and I am certainly a star with the double-r at the end.

NZ: Contract?!

PR: Yeah! I saw how you guys were looking at me last Tuesday. I know you were impressed with me. Let's get that contract signed.

SG: Paul, listen. We'd love to have you on our roster, but right now, we are strapped. We have no contract to give you per se, but....

PR: So, what you are saying is that both of you are stupid enough not to ink the living legend?!

NZ: No, no.....We discussed this, Paul. How about this....what we are saying is that we'd love to have you onboard. Let's make a gentleman's agreement that you are going to be part of the NEW family, but we can't fit you in the active roster now because of the depth.

PR: Whoa, whoa, whoa....Nick, Nick, Nick....Certainly you can make something happen. I am the biggest star in this arena tonight. I'm Paul Richards, for crying out loud.

SG: Paul, I'll tell ya what....later this week, you stop by the offices, and we'll have a contract for you to sign. Only, this one will be for an agreement that you will be bound to us, and we will start paying you, even though you won't be on the active roster for a few weeks....or months...

PR: What about all this crap about a former ICW World Champ signing a contract tonight?!

NZ: Oh, that? That was Purple Haze....

PR: WHAT THE HELL?

NZ: Now, now...we signed him to a developmental deal...

PR: I can't and won't believe this. I AM PAUL RICHARDS! I will only sign a contract if I am going to be out there competing, making me money, and making you money!

SG: You’re right... you’re Paul Richards. But do you know who I am? I’m Steve Grant, the living legend of NEW, and I’m also one of the men who you’re going to have to negotiate with if you want to be working here. Now, Paul, we...

PR: No, no Paul, we.....Grant, Z.....tonight you guys are gonna sign me to a deal, lock me up. Because tonight the NEW will be way over their heads. Tonight... tonight... never mind!

Richards storms off as Grant and Z look at each other, rolling their eyes...

HM: What the hell does Richards mean by all that?!

MI: I smell something fishy!

“Feel So Numb” by Rob Zombie starts as Ares makes his way down to the ring.

LN: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the NEW Juniorweight Championship! Introducing first the challenger, from South Glens Falls, New York, weighing 235 pounds... ARES!

MI: The Franchise has been in a bit of a slump the last few weeks.

HM: Damn right he has. Ares hasn’t won a match in a little over a month!

Bernie’s music plays as he comes out, wearing the Juniorweight Title around his waist.

LN: His opponent is the unsanctioned NEW Juniorweight Champion... BERNIE THE NINJA!

MI: And here comes that idiot Bernie with that old Juniorweight Title. Bernie got that thing from Jade and now he thinks he is the NEW Juniorweight Champion!

HM: Who says he isn’t?

Bernie charges right at Ares and goes for a spear but Ares side steps him and Bernie hits nothing but air. Bernie is up quick and Ares goes for a spinning heel quick, which Bernie ducks. Ares lands on his feet and goes for a kick to the back of Bernie’s head, which he also ducks. Bernie spins around to face Ares and nails him with a boot to the gut and follows it up with a gut wrench suplex. Ares slides out of the ring to rethink… Corkscrew plancha by Bernie but Ares moved out of the way...

MI: What a move by Bernie!

HM: Yeah…. Too bad he missed!

Ares measures Bernie and nails him with a huge running clothesline as he stands up. Bernie is down. Ares jumps on to the safety barrier and comes off with a huge moonsault onto Bernie.

MI: At least Ares can still show that he can wrestle like a cruiserweight.

Ares gets back in the ring and again waits for Bernie to get up. Bernie is up….

MI: Somersault Plancha!!!!

HM: Bernie moved though! He slide into the ring!

MI: Ares some how managed to land on his feet though.

Ares gets back in the ring but is met with some fierce kicks by Bernie. Bernie picks Ares up and whips him across the ring. Bernie nails Ares with a stiff superkick. Bernie bounces of the rope…

HM: Rolling Thunder like flipping Leg Drop!!!

MI: Bernie goes for the pin! 1-2- kick out! Ares kicked out! Bernie moves quickly and heads to the top rope but while he is doing so Ares nips up and turns towards the turnbuckles….

HM: OH MY GOD!!!!

MI: Ares just jumped to the second rope and the give Bernie a springboard Hate Kick knocking him right off the top rope!!!

HM: Too bad he got knocked out of the ring I bet Ares could have won this with that one!

MI: Ares is going to the top now…

Ares hops up to the top rope again...

MI: FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH!!!!! Ares nailed it!

HM: Big deal! They are both out on the outside now so it was a wasted effort.

Ares is crawling to the ring and makes it just before both men are counted out and breaks the count. Bernie finally starts to crawl towards the ring and gets on the apron. Ares and Bernie begin to exchange right hands. Bernie nails Ares with a body shot to gain the advantage. He grabs Ares in what looks to be a possibly Diamond Cutter or Acid Drop…

HM: Holy Shit! MI: Holy Shit indeed Hawk. Bernie just ran up the outside part of the turnbuckle from the apron and land in the ring giving Ares a hell of a stunner on the ride!

MI: Bernie covers… 1-2-kick out!

HM: Kick out again by Ares!

MI: Ares is showing his famed resilience there!

Bernie gets up and rolls out of the ring. He throws two chairs into the ring. He grabs one and heads towards Ares who hops up quick and goes for another Hate Kick! Bernie ducks it and tries to hit Ares with the chair but he moves handspring backflips out of the way and nails Bernie with a huge SPEAR! Ares grabs both chairs and sets them up in front of the turnbuckle.

MI: What the hell is Ares doing?

HM: I don’t know but he has Bernie on the top rope. MI: I think he is going to try to give Bernie a frankensteiner onto those chair here we go….

HM: OH MY GOD!!!!!

MI: BERNIE JUST REVERSED IT INTO A SUPER POWER BOMB THROUGH THE CHAIRS!!!! HE GOES FOR THE PIN! 1-2-3! Bernie wins!

HM: Ares’ slump continues…. shit! But wait... Ares just nailed Bernie with a Hate Kick to his Juniorweight Title! Ares picks Bernie up…. MARS DDT!!! This isn’t like Ares!

Ares slides out of the ring and grabs a few tables from under the ring setting three of them on top of each other. Ares slides back into the ring and puts Bernie on the top rope…

MI: What is Ares doing now? Bernie is barely able to move. Ares gets to the top.

HM: Oh no…

MI: SWEET GOD!!!!! Ares just delivered a SUPER MARS DDT THROUGH THREE TABLES TO BERNIE!!!! Ares has snapped. Bernie is out cold and Ares is holding his bad ribs. The paramedics are coming down but Ares is refusing attention as he heads to the back. Well, Hawk, even you can’t justify what Ares just did.

HM: I most certainly can justify it, Mike, and I’m glad it’s finally happening. Death Valley has always been about kicking ass and taking names... and they’re sick of certain people not taking them seriously enough.

MI: Our Cruiserweight Title match is next, folks... but we’re heading to the back beforehand...

Griggs is shown outside of the Astrodome. He is wearing a black leather jacket, blue jeans, and red sunglasses. He is encountered by two security guards. One security guard is about 6'7", with a shaved head and has his arms lined with tattoos. The other has long black hair and a big beard, is about 6'2", looks to weigh well over 300 pounds. Both men are wearing jet black security uniforms with matching "Reliable Security" hats and jackets.

Guard 1: What do you want?

Griggs: I need to see Mr. Grant.

Guard 2: What for?

Griggs: I work here.

Guard 1: If you work here, why haven't we ever heard of you?

Griggs: My name is Griggs. I just started! I need to see Mr. Grant so we can finalize my contact so I can start wrestling as soon as possible.

Guard 2: Do you have any ID?

Griggs: Yes! I have my driver's license right here in my wallet. Griggs takes out his leather wallet, opens it up, and frantically tries to find his license. Griggs, frustrated enough as it is, thrusts the wallet back into his pocket and shakes his head.

Griggs: Damn! I forgot my license!

Guard 1: Sorry, we can't let you in.

Griggs: This is ridiculous! I work here! I signed a contract with the NEW last week! Me and Mr. Grant just need to work out a few details! Please page him!

Guard 2: Mr. Grant is a busy man, he doesn't have time to be disturbed.

Guard 1: Just cut the act right now, okay? We get hundreds of fans who want a free backstage tour! We wouldn't be very good at our jobs if we let some Joe Six-Pack like you through. Look, if you leave right now, we will give you a NEW Starrcade free T-shirt.

Griggs: But--

Guard 2: I don't wanna hear another thing out of you. You're just gonna have to leave!

Griggs lowers his head and walks away, more frustrated than ever. He leaves quietly and does not try to fight as he disappears into the night. The two security guard shake their heads and sigh.

Guard 1: What some fans will do to try to get backstage...

Guard 2: Tell me about it...

Cut back to the arena...

MI: Well, it’s now time for our Cruiserweight Title match to get underway, fans! This is gonna be a barn-burner! “In And Out Of Love” by Bon Jovi starts up and the fans begin to cheer as Casanova walks out from the back and then sprints down to the ring and slides under the bottom rope.

LN: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the New Era Wrestling World Cruiserweight Championship! Introducing first the challenger, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Weighing in at 230 pounds, he is the NEW North American Heavyweight Champion, Casanova!

Casanova gets up and jumps on top of the turnbuckle making motions with his hands around his waist as if he were the champion.

HM: And Casanova is ready to go in the ring. He has the unique opportunity tonight to become a double singles champion.

“Last Resort” by Papa Roach starts up and the fans give Maloney a good pop as he comes out of the curtain to the center of the entrance ramp with the Cruiserweight title strapped around his waist.

LN: Introducing his opponent, from Greenfield, California, weighing in at 185 pounds. He is the NEW World Cruiserweight Champion, Daniel “The Holy One” Maloney!

Maloney sprints down to the ring and slides underneath the bottom rope and ends up getting stomped by Casanova.

MI: AND CASANOVA SEEKING THE OPPORTUNITY TO ATTACK!!!!

HM: He's not going to waste any time here tonight Mike.

MI: Casanova picks "The Holy One" up to his feet and sends him into the ropes. Casanova now ducking as Maloney comes back and MALONEY hits a swinging neckbreaker. Maloney back to his feet now finally taking the title off as he goes to work on Casanova. Maloney picks Casanova up and sends him over to the ropes. Casanova comes back AND MALONEY hits a beautiful tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Maloney goes for the cover 1... 2... and only a two count.

HM: Maloney is looking good tonight Mike, he's wearing that title as Cruiserweight Champion proudly.

MI: And that he should be, the man went through hell last week winning the eight man Cruiserweight ladder match to become the new champion. Maloney now putting the boot to the back of Casanova. Maloney now picks Casanova up to his feet and sends him over to the turnbuckle BUT HERE COMES MALONEY BUT CASANOVA JUMPS OVER THE TURNBUCKLE AND MALONEY HITS HARD!!!!

HM: Casanova is on the apron now and Maloney turns around, Casanova jumps up to the third rope AND HITS A SPRINGBOARD DDT ON MALONEY!!!!

MI: What a move by Casanova but he's making the wrong move by not making the pin. Guess he just wants to soften him up a bit.

HM: Damn right. Casanova now finally on the attack as he kicks Maloney to the outside of the ring. Look at this Mike Casanova is looking down at Maloney who isn't moving from the floor. Casanova signals to the fans and jumps to the top of the turnbuckle AND HITS A HIGH FROG SPLASH ON MALONEY TO THE FLOOR!!!!

MI: I think Maloney might have some bruised ribs after that hit. Casanova now picks Maloney back up and slides him inside the ring. Casanova now hops on the apron and jumps to the third rope. He jumps again AND HITS A SPLIT LEGGED MOONSAULT!!!! Here's the cover 1... 2... and Maloney kicks out of it. Close one there Hawk, almost had a new champ crowned.

HM: I think Casanova would look GREAT as the Cruiserweight Champion.

MI: Well he's looking like a winner right now. Casanova picks Maloney up and sends him over to the turnbuckle. Casanova now showboating a little and now runs at Maloney AND HITS A BIG BACK HANDSPRING ELBOW!!!!!

HM: And these fans are loving it.

MI: Maloney now backing out of the corner and Casanova mocking Maloney a little bit, look at this Larry grabbing the back of Maloney's neck AND SENDING HIM DOWN WITH A NECKBREAKER!!!! Here's the cover 1... 2... and Maloney kicks out again. Maloney is in some pain now but I believe he can come back.

HM: What the hell? Are you crazy? Casanova is beating him to a pulp.

MI: That might be so but you never know what will happen next.

HM: Well what's happening now is Casanova has just placed Maloney in a nice half crab.

MI: And he's got it locked in tight and the referee asking him if he wants to tap out but Maloney is screaming no. Maloney now trying to drag himself over to the ropes and he's almost there BUT CASANOVA HAS JUST DRAGGED HIM BACK TO THE CENTER OF THE RING!!!!!

HM: THIS IS IT MIKE!!!! HE'S GOING TO TAP NOW!!!!

MI: NO!!!! Maloney is holding on. He's still fighting, he's still fighting, HE'S GOT THE BOTTOM ROPE!!!!

HM: WOW! SO CLOSE!

MI: Casanova let's go of Maloney now and starts to kick at that leg. Casanova now dragging the leg over and placing it on the bottom rope. Casanova jumps to the second turnbuckle AND LEGDROPS THE LEG!!!!

HM: HAHA!!!!! HE LEGDROPPED THE LEG!!!!! THAT'S FUNNY!!!!!

MI: Casanova now picking Maloney back up to his feet. Casanova hits a knife edge chop to the chest of Maloney and sends him to the ropes. Maloney comes back and Casanova picks him up in a tilt-a-whirl BUT MALONEY COUNTERS WITH A HEAD SCISSORS!!!!Casanova gets back up and Maloney puts him down with a hip-toss. Casanova gets back up and Maloney hits a drop toe hold and sends him right on his face.

HM: What the hell is he doing?

MI: Looks like he's going on the apron. Casanova getting back up to his feet now, turns around AND MALONEY HITS A SPRINGBOARD HURRICANRANA!!!!! SHADES OF REY MYSTERIO!!!! HERE'S THE COVER 1... 2... KICK OUT!!!!!

HM: My, my, my that was too close, BUT CASANOVA IS STILL IN THIS!!!!

MI: Maloney picking Casanova back up and puts him back down with a body slam. Maloney now looking at the fans AND OH MY!!!! HM: HE JUST HIT A STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!!!! I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYBODY DO THAT BEFORE!!!!!

MI: Well it worked and he hooks the leg 1... 2... Casanova gets the shoulder up. Maloney now picking Casanova back up to his feet and sends him over to the turnbuckle. Maloney comes running after Casanova AND GETS KICKED IN THE FACE!!!!

HM: Maloney turns around and then turns back AND GETS MET BY CASANOVA WITH A BODY PRESS!!!!!

MI: Casanova picks Maloney back up AND PUTS HIM BACK DOWN WITH A POWERBOMB!!!!

HM: HE'S GOT HIS SHOULDERS DOWN 1... 2...

MI: NO!!!! MALONEY FLIPPED HIM DOWN INTO A PIN 1... 2...

HM: NO!!!! CASANOVA ROLLS OFF AND GRABS THE LEGS OF MALONEY AND FLIPS OVER ONTO HIS SHOULDERS 1... 2... MALONEY KICKS OUT!!!!

MI: Both men are up AND MALONEY GETS IN AN INSIDE CRADLE 1... 2... NO!

HM: THAT WAS CLOSE!!!!

MI: Maloney almost had the win but Casanova kicked out at the last second. Maloney now picking Casanova back up and tosses him over to the ropes. Casanova comes back and Maloney lifts him up high AND DROPS HIM INTO AN X-FACTOR!!!!!

HM: I think that might be it.

MI: Maloney is signaling to the fans THAT HE'S GOING UP TOP!!!! Maloney is climbing up the turnbuckle and he's at the top. He points to the sky AND HERE COMES THE LAST RESORT BUT CASANOVA MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!

HM: CASANOVA SAW THAT COMING!!!!

MI: And Maloney is paying for it. Casanova picks Maloney up and TAKES HIM BACK DOWN WITH AN EVENFLOW DDT!!!! Casanova now not wasting any time, he jumps to the top of the turnbuckle and turns around NOVABOMB!!!!! HE HITS THE NOVABOMB!!!! COVER 1... 2... 3!!!! AND CASANOVA HAS WON THIS THING!!!!

“In And Out Of Love” starts up again and the referee hands the Cruiserweight Title to Casanova who raises it in the air as the fans cheer him on.

LN: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner and NEW WORLD CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION... CASANOVA!

Casanova slides under the ropes and heads back up the entrance ramp with the title raised in the air.

MI: Maloney tried his best but just couldn't get the job done tonight.

HM: And as we speak, Casanova is now a double singles champion! Double goldage for the Novabomb!

MI: But now just about everyone will be gunning for his titles. A lot of the guys in the heavyweight division will want his North American belt, and everyone in the cruiserweight division will want his Cruiserweight belt.

HM: ‘Nova’s a man and a half, he can tackle any obstacle.

The scene cuts to the back. Nick Z and Steve Grant are talking. Richards approaches them as they roll their eyes at him.

NZ: Look, Paul...we don't really need you. We can just tell you goodbye and don't let the door hit ya, but we are doing you a favor. We both feel that you can be such a positive force for the NEW. Let's just shake hands in agreement that you will get your contract and that one day, probably sooner than later, you will be back out in the squared circle competing.

PR: Look, I ain't trying to be a prick or anything. But, you signed Purple Haze to a deal. Who is Purple Haze? Sure, he was a former champ, but so was I. I still have what it takes, man. Just open your eyes. You saw what I did last Tuesday. You need to see anymore of me? Give me a match tonight, lemme do whatever it takes. I will keep coming back if you don't, becoming a bigger pain as the night goes on...

SG: Nick, can I speak with you for a moment?

Nick walks over to Grant as the two take a few steps away from Richards and huddle up and begin whispering back and forth. Richards tries to overhear them, but they move away. After about thirty seconds, they break huddle.

SG: Look, Paul. You got it. As soon as we can get you on a show, you are in. Not tonight, though, Paul...we still need to get all the formalities down...money and contract included...

Grant extends his hand to Richards. Richards looks at it and smirks and shakes it. Z does the same and Richards shakes his.

PR: So, what you are saying, I am on the NEW active roster as of tonight? One of the boys?

NZ: Even though you weren't technically supposed to be here tonight, yeah...

PR: HA! HA! HA! You guys just got yourself more than a living legend, more than one man. Now, my friends, you opened the doors all the way for a whole new way of life in the NEW! The money I am gonna make for you guys is going to be sickening!

Without looking at Z and Grant, Richards walks away, walking in between them and bumping them as he walks away.

SG: I think Nick hit him too hard with that chair four years ago, and it’s still affecting his brain...

NZ: Heh, yeah. What do you say you and I go get a cup of coffee?

Cut back into the arena...

HM: What does Richards mean by a whole new way of life?!

MI: Beats the heck outta me!

The bell rings, and “Ace of Spades” by Motorhead begins to play as Jason Wylde comes out to a nice pop from the crowd...

LN: The following non-title matchup is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 235 pounds, Jason Wylde!

MI: Well, fans, for those of you who may not remember, Jason Wylde has had a very memorable career here in NEW.

HM: Very true, Mike... he was a two-time former World Heavyweight Champion and a former ETV Champion. And if he wins tonight, President Grant has guaranteed him a shot at any male singles title here in NEW-- except for the World Title. So this is certainly an important match for “The Gambler”.

Jason Wylde hits the ring, game-face on, as he awaits the arrival of the World Heavyweight Champion...

MI: The next sight you see will be the sight of the World Champion coming out here!

“Death Valley” by Aerosmith plays as Damien Simons comes out to a mixed reaction from the crowd. He wears his NEW World Heavyweight Title belt proudly around his waist.

LN: His opponent, representing Death Valley, is the World Heavyweight Champion... DAMIEN SIMONS!

HM: This is gonna be a great match. And it had better be, after the way that Simons screwed up last week.

MI: What are you talking about?

HM: Steve was out there giving that match his all, and Simons was dead weight throughout the entire contest! I’ll tell you, if I’d given forth a performance like that back when Steve and I were teaming, Grant would’ve gotten on my ass about it, and I don’t doubt that he and Damien have already had a few words.

MI: Hard to tell... Steve Grant has never been one to publicly humiliate a teammate. But anyway, there’s the bell, and these two men are circling each other and locking up!

HM: Should be a good match, nonetheless, Mike. These guys are both great competitors.

MI: Wylde has Simons in a headlock, and he throws the champ into the corner... the referee forces the break, but now Wylde with several knife-edge chops to the chest of Damien Simons! HM: WOW! Listen to the impact!

MI: Wylde’s taunting Simons a little bit, but now Simons explodes out of the corner with a vicious clothesline! Holy cow!

HM: Damien just about knocked his head off! That’s it, Simons, stay on him!

MI: Simons is dragging Wylde to his feet... belly-to-back suplex! Simons goes for the cover. ONE-- TWO-- and a big kickout by The Gambler.

HM: Damien tried for the pinfall far too early, but he’s trying to make Wylde expend some energy here.

MI: Simons again lifts Wylde to his feet... but a low-blow and a jawbreaker by Jason Wylde! Wylde now with the advantage, he shoots off the ropes and nails an elbow drop on the World Champion! He covers... one... and a kickout by Simons.

Damien’s slowly getting up, and Wylde throws him off the ropes... big Samoan drop by The Gambler!

HM: Great move by Wylde! He’s getting some momentum now. MI: And Jason wastes no time, he gets down on the mat and puts Simons in a triangle hold! Shades of old-school Trey Reed!

HM: Ha, yeah, I remember that... the Neckbrace. Black Ninja back in EOCW.

MI: Simons has got to be in a lot of pain right now, but he’s too close to the ropes, and referee Kevin Stripes orders the break. Wait, who’s that standing in the entrance?

HM: It’s Steve Grant! Steve’s standing in the entrance, but he’s making no move towards the ring. Looks like he’s here to root for his teammate!

MI: Indeed, that’s what he seems to be doing. Wylde drags Simons back to his feet and throws him into the corner... WYLDE WITH A STINGER SPLASH but Simons dropped straight down just in time! Wylde landed headfirst into the turnbuckle. Now Simons takes Wylde upstairs onto the top turnbuckle... SUPER RELEASE FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX BY THE CHAMPION! HE COVERS... ONE... TWO...

HM: NO! NO! WYLDE IS STILL IN IT!

MI: He is, indeed! But how much does he have left? Look at Simons, showboating to the crowd. He’s now motioning that he’s going to go off the top rope!

HM: What? What’s he gonna do?

MI: Simons is slowly making his way up to the top turnbuckle... and he’s gonna go for a guillotine legdrop! But he wasted too much time, and Jason Wylde rolled out of the way!

HM: I knew he’d wasted too much time! Dammit!

MI: Wylde trying to take immediate advantage, he rolls Simons up into a small package! ONE! TWO! THREE!

HM: SHIT!

LN: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner... JASON WYLDE!

MI: Jason Wylde has won this match, and Steve Grant is watching from the entrance with a look of severe disappointment on his face.

HM: Damien let him down again!

MI: He did nothing the first time! What do you mean, again?

HM: You know, like he did earlier, trying to win that tag match by himself.

MI: Fans, Damien Simons has made his way backstage, and we understand that he and Steve Grant are having some words. Let’s see what’s going on...

Cut to the backstage area, where Steve Grant and Damien Simons are talking...

Damien: Dammit, Steve. I wasted too much time back there. What’s getting into me?

Steve: Don’t worry about it... you’ve still got your belt, right? Your place in the top tier of NEW isn’t in jeopardy at this point, is it? But me... I feel I’ve got something to prove. And tonight... I’m going to prove it by stomping all over Vigor. I know you’ve been in a little bit of a slump lately... but now I’m going to go out there and show you how DV takes care of business.

Steve Grant leaves, and the camera returns to the announcing table...

MI: Well, that was downright cordial compared to what I expected.

HM: Yeah, no kidding. I half expected Steve to give Damien a verbal ass-raping. But one thing I’ve learned about Steve Grant over the years is that he’s a very multi-layered individual. Sometimes, what he says and what he’s really thinking are two different things.

MI: So he lies?

HM: I didn’t mean lie... but he tries to stay positive on the outside, even if he’s stewing on the inside. He never really lets anyone know what he’s truly thinking.

MI: Well, he’s coming out here next, to take on NEW newcomer Vigor. How do you think Vigor will fare in this matchup, Hawk?

HM: I hate to be the voice of doom for a promising young superstar... but Vigor is in for a long night. Even if he won’t admit it, I can tell that Steve Grant is upset-- and when he’s upset, he can be a very, very dangerous man.

“Damaged” by Fear Factory plays as Vigor comes down to the ring.

LN: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Melbourne, Australia, weighing 337 pounds... VIGOR!

MI: This man Vigor is an absolutely humongous guy, Hawk. Seven feet tall, weighing over 330 pounds... a lot like yourself, actually.

HM: Yeah, he outweighs Steve by about forty pounds and has three inches on him-- but Steve’s beaten larger opponents before. He’s done it all here in NEW.

The lights fade to black, and “Hells Bells” by AC/DC begins to play as Steve Grant comes down to an INSANE pop from the huge crowd.

LN: His opponent, representing Death Valley, weighs in at 295 pounds. From Juneau, Alaska, he is a four-time former NEW World Heavyweight Champion... STEVE GRANT!

MI: Steve Grant has arrived, and he’s looking as intense as ever!

HM: He is indeed, Mike... someone’s going to get whipped on tonight!

MI: The bell has sounded, and Vigor explodes out of his corner with a spear!

HM: HOLY CRAP! That came out of nowhere.

MI: Great move by Vigor, taking the initiative. He goes for the cover immediately... ONE... TWO...

HM: NO! Steve Grant got the shoulder up. Barely. He has to be hurting, Mike, that was 337 pounds plowing right into him like a train.

MI: Those ribs can’t be feeling good right now. Now Vigor picks up Steve Grant... shoots him off the ropes... big chokeslam by the newcomer! Damn, Vigor’s staying on The Inferno!

HM: That’s what he’s gotta do, if he wants to stand a snowball’s chance in hell.

MI: Vigor again with a cover! And again only getting a two-count! He’s arguing with the referee as he pulls Grant up again... but now Grant is unloading on Vigor with powerful right-hand punches! And a martial-arts kick! A leg sweep sends Vigor rolling out of the ring.

HM: Vigor’s stalling now... uh-oh...

Fans: STD! STD! STD! STD!

MI: Yes! Grant off the opposite ropes... two back-hand springs... he vaults over the top rope and lands on Vigor in a moonsault! The Flying Space Tiger Drop!

HM: That’s the most electrifying move in sports-entertainment! Rocky be damned!

MI: He caught Vigor fully with the impact of that move, but Grant hurt himself a little on it as well. The referee’s counting out both men as they make their way to their feet. And now both men roll back into the ring.

HM: Wise move.

MI: Grant and Vigor are now exchanging fisticuffs. Vigor grabs the advantage... whips Grant into the ropes and bends down for a back body drop... but Grant grabbed the ropes, and he kicks Vigor upward into his face! Grant now with the Irish Whip... and a spinebuster by The Blue Inferno!

HM: Vigor’s in trouble now!

MI: Grant’s looking to end this thing, he’s gonna go up on the top rope! Grant’s up on the top turnbuckle, and he goes for the Phoenix Splash! HE NAILED IT! ONE... TWO...

HM: NO, Vigor got his foot on the bottom rope! That was very close to a three-count, though!

MI: Steve Grant’s not letting it bother him, though, he’s getting right back to work. All business tonight. He picks Vigor up.... Death Valley Driver? No, Vigor slipped out of it! Vigor now with the kick to Grant’s stomach, and he picks him up for a powerbomb... but Grant reversed it into a huracanrana pin! ONE... TWO... NO, Vigor just did manage to kick out.

HM: Both men back to their feet, Vigor charges Grant and... WHAM!

MI: THE INFERNO KICK! Grant hit the Inferno Kick on Vigor! Now he covers! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!

LN: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner is “Blue Inferno” Steve Grant!

“Hells Bells” plays again as Grant raises his arms in victory...

MI: Steve Grant is victorious here tonight!

HM: And he just showed the young guys in NEW how DV takes care of business!

MI: He did, indeed. Ladies and gentlemen I understand that we've got a camera in the parking lot now and Lestat is out there waiting on Hardcore Jay, IT'S TIME FOR THE HARDCORE CITY STREET FIGHT!!!!

The scene fades out to the parking lot where you can see Lestat with a chair in his hand looking for Hardcore Jay... Lestat: JAY!!!! JAY!!!!! WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR ASS!!!!! COME ON YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!! SHOW YOURSELF!!!!!

All of a sudden you see Hardcore Jay climb on the top of a parked truck with a stop sign in his hands and Lestat doesn't even see him

Lestat: WHERE ARE YOU!!!!

Hardcore Jay: RIGHT HERE YOU DUMB FUCK!!!!

Lestat turns around and Jay jumps off the truck.

MI: GOOD GOD!!!! HARDCORE JAY JUST JUMPED OFF THAT TRUCK AND HIT LESTAT IN THE HEAD WITH THAT STOP SIGN!!!!!

Hardcore Jay: OH YEAH LESTAT IT'S TIME TO GET HARDCORE!!!!!

MI: Hardcore Jay now picks Lestat up and slams his head right on the hood of the truck. Hardcore Jay takes Lestat now and whips him right on the side of the truck and Lestat is holding his back in pain.

Hardcore Jay: Come on you little bitch. FIGHT DAMMIT!!!!

HM: Hardcore Jay is taking Lestat to the next level of Hardcore. MI: I agree. Hardcore Jay picks Lestat up and is dragging him out of the parking lot and onto the busy streets of Dallas, Texas. Hardcore Jay takes Lestat and bangs his head on a pole. Hardcore Jay takes Lestat and picks him up over his shoulder AND DROPS HIM FACE FIRST ON THE TOP OF A MAILBOX!!!!!

LN: AND THESE HICKS IN TEXAS ARE LOVING IT!!!!

MI: Hardcore Jay now picks Lestat up and tosses him inside a bar. HM: What a surprise. Hardcore Jay likes to drink! He's fighting Lestat in a Hardcore City Street Fight! He just tossed him in a bar! Coincidence? I THINK NOT!!!!

MI: Well we're going inside the bar now and Hardcore Jay is beating on Lestat. Hardcore Jay puts Lestat on top of a pool table and Hardcore Jay gets on top as well. Hardcore Jay places Lestat between his legs AND HE'S GOING TO POWERBOMB HIM BUT LESTAT SQUIRMS OUT OF IT AND GOES TO THE FLOOR!!!! JAY TURNS AROUND AND LESTAT TAKES JAY OFF HIS FEET AND HE SLAMS DOWN ON THE POOL TABLE!!!!!

HM: Lestat now picks up an eight ball AND HITS JAY RIGHT IN THE HEAD WITH IT!!!!

MI: Now Lestat goes and picks up a pool stick AND STARTS TO CHOKE JAY ON THE POOL TABLE!!!! Lestat lets go of Jay now and drags him off the pool table and starts to hit Jay in the stomach with that pool stick. Lestat picks Jay back up and slams his head on the pool table. Jay turns around AND GETS NAILED RIGHT IN THE HEAD WITH THAT POOL STICK!!!!

HM: IT JUST SHATTERED IN HALF!!!! AND SO DID JAY'S SKULL!!!! MI: Lestat now walks over and picks up a beer bottle. Jay gets to his feet AND LESTAT SWINGS BUT JAY DUCKS AND KICKS LESTAT IN THE GUT!!!!! HE GRABS THE BOTTLE AND SMASHES IT IN THE FACE OF LESTAT!!!!

HM: AND LESTAT IS BUSTED OPEN!!!!

MI: Jay's not done yet. He picks Lestat up and PUTS HIM IN A MILITARY PRESS POSITION AND GOOD GOD!!!! HE JUST TOSSED HIM BEHIND THE BAR COUNTER AND INTO THOSE GLASS BOTTLES OF BOOZ BEHIND THE COUNTER!!!! LESTAT HAS GOT TO BE HURTING!!!!!

HM: Hardcore Jay moves over to the bar and picks Lestat back up and sets him stomach first on the bar counter AND HE STARTS PUSHING HIM FORWARD INTO THOSE BOTTLES OF BEER AND FOOD!!!!

MI: It's like a good old fashioned bar fight.

HM: You've got that right. Hardcore Jay picks Lestat back up and tosses him outside on the streets again and now Jay walks over and picks up a nearby trash can AND SLAMS IT ON THE BACK OF LESTAT!!!! AND HE'S BEATING HIM SOME MORE!!!! HE'S NOT STOPPING!!!!!

MI: Hardcore Jay is acting like a man possessed at the moment. Finally tossing the trash can away now he picks Lestat back up but Lestat punches him in the gut AND HE GIVES HIM A DDT ON THE CONCRETE!!!! And Lestat goes for the cover 1…2… JAY KICKS OUT!!!!

HM: And Lestat is kind of ticked off about that one. Lestat picks Jay up and he picks him up over his shoulder. And Lestat is taking Jay back to the parking lot. Lestat looks at his surroundings AND NOW HE'S RUNNING WITH JAY ON HIS SHOULDERS AND HE SENDS HIM HEAD FIRST RIGHT INTO A VAN!!!! AND JAY FALLS RIGHT TO THE GROUND!!!!!

MI: That one had to hurt. Lestat picks Jay back up to his feet and he's taking Jay back in the arena?

HM: Is that supposed to happen in a Hardcore City Street Fight? MI: I'm not so sure that Lestat knows what to do but survive and he's doing that right now. He takes Jay and sends Jay on top of some wooden crates. Lestat takes a step back THEN RUNS AND LEAPS ON TOP OF JAY AND THE CRATES JUST SHATTER!!!!

HM: LESTAT IS MAKING THE COVER 1... 2... AND JAY KICKED OUT OF IT!!!! Lestat picks Jay back up and takes him over to a coffee stand AND BANGS HIS HEAD UP AGAINST THE TABLE!!!!

MI: Lestat now walks over and picks up a chair. Jay is kind of out of it right now AND HERE COMES LESTAT WITH THAT CHAIR BUT JAY DUCKS AND BACK BODY DROPS LESTAT CHAIR AND ALL THROUGH THAT TABLE FILLED WITH COFFEE!!!!!

HM: AND JUST LOOK AT THE CARNAGE!!!!!

MI: Hardcore Jay goes for the cover 1... 2... GOOD GOD LESTAT KICKED OUT!!!!

HM: And Hardcore Jay is pissed. Hardcore Jay picks Lestat up and is trying to send him back into the parking lot but LESTAT IS ABLE TO GET IN A LOW BLOW!!!! Lestat is hurting badly but he picks himself up and grabs that chair AND NAILS JAY OVER THE HEAD WITH IT!!!! Jay not going down but is moving back into the hallway and Lestat is following him. Jay turns back around AND LESTAT NAILS HIM IN THE HEAD WITH IT AGAIN!!!! Jay doesn't go down yet. Lestat runs up to Jay AND NAILS HIM FROM BEHIND WITH THE CHAIR!!!! Lestat drops the chair now and grabs Jay and heads down the hallway with him. Look at this Lestat punches Jay in the head and clotheslines him down. Lestat picks Jay back up and now takes a minute to look! Oh no! No! No! NO!!!!! GOOD GOD!!!!! LESTAT JUST THREW JAY RIGHT THROUGH A GLASS WINDOW HEAD FIRST!!!!!

MI: JAY IS BLEEDING FROM THE FOREHEAD!!!!! HE'S A BLOODY MESS!!!!!

HM: Look at this Lestat takes that chair and sets it up so that he wont have to touch that broken glass. Lestat gets up on the chair and takes a look inside and sees Jay lying helpless on the ground. Lestat jumps off the chair AND ELBOWS DROP JAY!!! Lestat makes the cover now 1... 2... NO!!!! JAY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!! OUT OF ALL THE PAIN HE JUST WENT THROUGH, HE GETS THE SHOULDER UP!!!!!

MI: And Lestat didn't like that one bit LOOK AT THIS!!!! HE PICKED UP A PIECE OF GLASS AND HE'S DIGGING INTO THE SKIN OF HARDCORE JAY!!!! JAY IS THRIVING IN PAIN!!!! Lestat finally let's go of Jay and he's picking him up to his feet. He picks Jay over his shoulder and HE TOSSES HIM FACE FIRST INTO THAT CHAIR!!!!

HM: Lestat is really giving Jay an ass kicking right now.

MI: Lestat hops over to Jay and picks him back to his feet and starts to take him back down the hallway. LARRY I THINK HE'S BRINGING JAY OUT HERE!!!!

Fade into the arena...

HM: HERE THEY ARE!!!!! LESTAT IS STILL POUNDING ON JAY AND HE JUST TOSSES HIM DOWN THE ENTRANCE RAMP!!!!

MI: Jay goes all the way down to the ring and Lestat is following him. Lestat makes it over to Jay and picks him up and kicks him in the gut AND GIVES HIM A DDT!!!! Lestat now walking over to the ring steps AND HE PICKS THEM UP AND TOSSES THEM IN THE RING!!!!! HE'S GOING UNDERNEATH THE APRON NOW AND BY GOD HE'S BRINGING OUT A TABLE!!!!! He slides the table inside the ring AND NOW HE GRABS JAY AND TOSSES HIM INSIDE THE RING!!!!! Lestat slides inside and he picks Jay up AND JAY GIVES LESTAT A LOW BLOW!!!! LOOK AT THIS HE'S GOT LESTAT UP, HARDCORE DROP!!!!! HARDCORE DROP!!!!! HE HIT THE HARDCORE DROP ON LESTAT!!!!!! BUT BOTH MEN ARE OUT!!!!!

1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9...

HM: JAY GETS THE ARM ACROSS LESTAT, COVER 1... 2... NO!!!!! LESTAT GOT THE FOOT ON THE ROPES!!!! HARDCORE JAY ALMOST HAD THIS THING WON!!!!!

MI: But not yet he doesn't. Hardcore Jay gets back up to his feet and walks over to that table and sets it up. Look at this now, Hardcore Jay takes Lestat and places him on the table and HOLY SH*T!!!!! JAY IS GETTING ON TOP OF THE TABLE TOO!!!! THAT TABLE IS HOLDING STEADY AND EVEN I CANT BELIEVE IT!!!!! LOOK AT THIS, JAY IS PICKING LESTAT UP AND HE'S GOING TO HARDCORE DROP HIM THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!

HM: HE'S GOT HIM UP BUT WAIT!!!! LESTAT SQUIRMED OUT OF IT AND WENT DOWN TO THE MAT AND HE JUST GAVE JAY A LOW BLOW!!!! NOW LESTAT RUNS AND LEAPS ON THE STEEL STEPS AND JUMPS UP TO THE THIRD ROPE AND JUMPS OFF BACK OVER TO JAY GOOD GOD!!!!!! HE HIT JAY WITH THE OFFERING THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!! HE'S GOT THE ARM DRAPED OVER JAY HERE'S THE COVER 1... 2... 3!!!! HE'S DONE IT!!!! BY GOD LESTAT HAS DONE IT!!!! HE'S WON THE HARDCORE TITLE!!!!!

“The Sickness” by Disturbed begins to play and the fans boo as Lestat rises to his feet and raises up the Hardcore title above his head. Lestat stays in the ring and takes the time to celebrate his victory.

LN: Ladies and gentlemen your winner, and new Hardcore Champion, LESTAT!

MI: Well Lestat despite not being in the streets has won this thing here tonight. He's won the battle.

HM: BUT I DON'T THINK HE'S READY FOR THE WAR!!!! LOOK AT JAY!!!!! MI: JAY IS BACK UP TO HIS FEET NOW AND HE GRABS THOSE STEPS!!!!! LESTAT TURNS AROUND AND HARDCORE JAY NAILS HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE!!!!! LESTAT IS KNOCKED OUT COLD!!!!!

Jay then picks up the Hardcore title, kisses it, and then lays it across Lestat. "Enter Sandman" then starts up and Hardcore Jay makes his way back up the entrance ramp.

HM: Well, Jay’s a sore loser.

MI: Nevertheless fans, Lestat is the brand-new NEW Hardcore Champion. Another title has changed hands here tonight, but we’ve still got more to come! As a matter of fact... our Intercontinental Title match is next, so let’s get to it, shall we?

“No More Tears” by Ozzy Ozbourne starts up and the fans pop as D.R.H. comes walking through the curtain with "Dave" raised in the air and carrying "The BWC" in his hands.

LN: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the New Era Wrestling Intercontinental Championship! Introducing the challenger, representing Damage Inc., weighing 240 pounds. He is one-half of the NEW World Tag Team Champions, D. R. H.!

D.R.H. walks down to the ring and slides inside and waits for Reed.

“Forgot About Trey” by the Endgamers and various artists starts up and some of the fans cheer as Trey Reed walks out from the back with the Intercontinental title raised in the air as pyrotechnics shoot out from the entrance ramp.

LN: His opponent, representing Interstate 999.2k1, weighs in at 220 pounds. He is the NEW Intercontinental Champion, “The Last Action Hero” Trey Reed!

Reed walks down the entrance ramp and walks down to the ring and turns around with his back turned to D.R.H. and as he does so, D.R.H. runs and baseball slides Reed in the back of the head.

MI: AND D.R.H. WASTING NO TIME IN ORDER TO BEAT ON REED ON THE OUTSIDE!!!!!

HM: D.R.H. picks Reed up and slides him back inside the ring and Reed is back on his feet. He runs across the ring and hits the ropes. D.R.H. jumps and Reed goes under the legs. Reed goes back over to the ropes and D.R.H. puts him down with a back elbow. D.R.H. picks him back up and sends him back to the ropes. Reed comes back and D.R.H. hits him with a powerslam and a pin 1-- not even a two count. D.R.H. picks Reed back up and sends him to the turnbuckle AND D.R.H. RIGHT BEHIND HIM AND GIVES HIM A CLOTHESLINE!!!!

MI: Trey Reed backs out of the corner and D.R.H. puts him back down with a bulldog. D.R.H. now locks in a reverse chin lock and he's trying to make Reed tap out but Reed ends up breaking the hold and rolls out of the ring.

HM: Don't think Reed is scared because he's not scared of anybody.

MI: Well then why isn't he getting back inside the ring with D.R..H. if he's not scared of him?

HM: That's just good wrestling.

MI: Well here comes D.R.H. and he's giving chase to Trey Reed. Reed slides back inside the ring and so does D.R.H. but Reed cuts him off and starts putting the boot to him.

HM: See, I told you Reed was clever enough to go to the outside. D.R.H. is just stupid for chasing after him, he’s falling right into Reed’s trap.

MI: Well Reed picks D.R.H. up and sends him over to the ropes. D.R.H. comes back and Reed kicks him in the stomach AND GIVES HIM A DDT!!!!

HM: That rocked D.R.H.

MI: And Reed makes the cover 1... 2... NO!!!! D.R.H. kicks out at the last second.

HM: Almost three there!

MI: Reed picks D.R.H. back up and sends him back to the ropes. D.R.H. comes back and Reed hits him with a big powerslam. He makes the cover again 1... 2, hooks the leg NO, D.R.H. kicked out of it.

HM: Another two-count. D. R. H. is staying alive...

MI: Trey Reed now picking D.R.H. back up and putting him back down with a body slam. Reed runs over to the ropes, comes back AND DROPS THE KNEE over the head of D.R.H.. Reed picks him back up and gives him a knife edge chop.

Fans: WOOOO!!!!

MI: AND THERES ANOTHER ONE!!!!!

Fans: WOOOO!!!!

MI: Reed sending D.R.H. over to the ropes now, Reed ducks AND D.R.H. KICKS HIM IN THE FACE!!!!! Reed lifts his head up AND D.R.H. PUTS HIM BACK DOWN WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!!! D.R.H. picks Reed back up and locks in a headlock. D.R.H. backs Reed into the ropes. Reed now sends D.R.H. over to the ropes and D.R.H. comes back and knocks Reed off his feet with a shoulder block. D.R.H. gets back up and runs over to the ropes. Reed lays down face first and D.R.H. sees it AND GIVES HIM AN ELBOW DROP to the back of the head. D.R.H. now kicking Reed out of the ring and to the floor. D.R.H. now runs over to the ropes as Reed gets up and tries a baseball slide but Reed moves out of the way and D.R.H. goes to the floor AND REED GIVES HIM A BIG DROPKICK RIGHT INTO THE APRON!!!!

HM: Great move by Reed!

MI: Trey Reed now back on the offense now picking D.R.H. up AND DROPPING HIM FACE FIRST on the ring apron. Now Reed tosses D.R.H. back inside the ring. Reed slides in and stomps on the back of D.R.H. Reed picks him up and sends him over to the ropes. Reed ducks AND D.R.H. HITS A RUNNING DDT!!!! HE MAKES THE COVER 1... 2... NO!!!! REED KICKED OUT!!!!!

HM: I THOUGHT HE HAD HIM THAT TIME!

MI: D.R.H. now picks Reed up and sends him into the corner. Here comes D.R.H. but D.R.H. ends up getting a kick to the face by Reed. Reed now jumps up to the second turnbuckle AND HITS THE LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION ON D.R.H.!!!!! HERE'S THE COVER 1... 2... NO!!!! D.R.H. KICKED OUT!!!!

HM: HOW’D HE KICK OUT OF THAT?????

MI: D.R.H. trying to get back on the offense now but Reed is keeping him down on the mat. Reed now LOCKING IN A FIGURE FOUR!!!! D.R.H. IS IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!!!!

HM: HE'S GOING TO TAP OUT!!!!! HE'S GOING TO TAP OUT!!!! THIS IS IT!!!!

MI: D.R.H. is trying to make it to the ropes but Trey Reed is holding that move in tight. D.R.H. still fighting BUT REED MOVES BACK OVER TO THE CENTER OF THE RING!!!!

HM: D. R. H. doesn’t have much choice, he’s gotta tap!

MI: WAIT A MINUTE!!!!! D.R.H. HAS JUST TURNED THE FIGURE FOUR OVER AND NOW REED IS FEELING SOME PAIN!!!! AND IT'S REED WHO HAS TO LET GO OF THE HOLD BUT D.R.H. IS MAKING SURE HE KEEPS IT LOCKED ON!!!!!

HM: REED'S GOT THE ROPES!!!!! REED'S GOT THE ROPES!!!!!

MI: And finally the referee breaks up the hold. Both men are struggling to get back on their feet. Both men are up now AND HERE COMES REED WITH A CLOTHESLINE AND OH MY A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE AND BOTH MEN ARE DOWN AGAIN!!! 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6...

HM: Reed is starting to move.

MI: So is D.R.H.

7... 8... 9...

HM: REED IS UP AND SO IS D.R.H.!!!!

MI: Reed tries a punch but D.R.H. blocks it and gives him a knife edge chop.

Fans: WOOOO!!!!!

MI: D.R.H. sends Reed over to the turnbuckle AND D.R.H. COMES RUNNING BEHIND AND HITS REED WITH A FOREARM!!!! Reed backs out of the turnbuckle and D.R.H. jumps up to the second turnbuckle AND HITS A FLYING CLOTHESLINE!!!! HERE'S THE COVER 1... 2... KICK OUT BY REED!!!!

LHM: Good job Reed kicked out of that one.

MI: D.R.H. now trying to keep Reed down by stomping his back. D.R.H. picks Reed up and sends him over to the ropes. D.R.H. ducks and Reed kicks him right in the mouth. D.R.H. lifts up AND REED HITS HIM WITH A BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!!!!

HM: Reed gets back up and picks D.R.H. up again AND PUTS HIM BACK DOWN WITH A T-BONE SUPLEX!!!!!

MI: Reed gets back up and picks D.R.H. up again AND GIVES HIM AN ANGLE SLAM!!!!!

HM: HERE'S THE COVER 1... HOOKS THE LEG 2...

MI: NO!!!!! D.R.H. GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!!

HM: WHOA!

MI: Trey Reed now picks D.R.H. back up and places him in the turnbuckle. Trey Reed now picks D.R.H. up top AND REED HOOKS HIS ARM UP GOOD GOD HE'S GOING FOR A SUPERPLEX!!!!!

HM: BUT D.R.H. IS BLOCKING IT!!!!

MI: NO WAIT REED HITS HIM IN THE GUT AND GOOD GOD!!!!! HE HITS A SUPERPLEX!!!!! BOTH MEN ARE OUT!!!!!

1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7...

HM: REED IS ABLE TO CLIMB ON TOP OF D.R.H. 1... 2...

MI: NO!!!! D.R.H. KICKED OUT AT THE LAST SECOND!!!

HM: HOW DID HE DO THAT!!!!!

MI: HE'S NOT GOING TO GIVE THIS ONE UP EASILY!!!!

HM: Reed now picking D.R.H. up.

MI: Reed sends him over to the ropes and Reed gives him a leap frog. Reed now runs to the other ropes as D.R.H. runs the opposite way. D.R.H. comes back AND REED TRIES TO HIT THE SCM BUT D.R.H. DUCKED OUT OF THE WAY!!!! REED TURNS AROUND, SUPERKICK TO THE FACE BY D.R.H.!!!!! HERE'S THE COVER 1... 2... KICK OUT BY REED!!!!! SO CLOSE!!!!!

HM: D.R.H. picks Reed back up and sends him to the ropes no Reed reverses and sends D.R.H. over to the ropes, AND D.R.H. TRIES A CLOTHESLINE BUT REED DUCKED AND D.R.H. HITS THE REFEREE BY MISTAKE!!!!! DISQUALIFICATION RIGHT THERE!!!!!

MI: HE HIT THE REFEREE BY MISTAKE!!!!!

HM: LOOK AT THIS!!!!! REED GRABS D.R.H. AND HITS THE LAST NIGHT STAND!!!!! HE HIT THE LAST NIGHT STAND!!!!

MI: AND D.R.H. IS OUT COLD!!!!

HM: REED MAKES THE COVER 1... 2... 3... 4... 5.... 6... 7... COME ON YOU COULD COUNT TO TWENTY RIGHT NOW!!!!!

MI: BUT THERE IS NO REFEREE!!!!! Hey wait a minute! What the hell is Reed doing? He's going to the outside AND OH MY GOD HE'S GOT THE BWC!!!!! HE'S GOT THE BARBED WIRE CHAIR!!!!!

HM: BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!

Reed slides inside the ring with the barbed wire chair. MI: Trey Reed is waiting for D.R.H. to get to his feet. D.R.H. gets to his feet and turns around OH MY GOD!!!! TREY REED JUST BLASTED D.R.H. ACROSS THE HEAD WITH THE BWC!!!!! D.R.H. IS OUT!!!!!

HM: AND HE'S BLEEDING ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!!!

MI: AND TREY REED IS LOVING IT!!!! HE IS SIMPLY LOVING HIMSELF RIGHT NOW!!!!! THE LITTLE ROTTEN SNEAK!!!!! REED IS MAKING THE COVER AND THE REFEREE IS MOVING!!!! HE SEES REED MAKING THE COVER 1... NO... 2... NOT LIKE THIS NO!!! 3 NO!!!!!! D.R.H. KICKED OUT!!!!! HE KICKED OUT!!!!!! HOW THE HELL DID HE DO IT!!!!!

HM: I WANT TO KNOW THE SAME THING!!!!!

MI: Trey Reed is pretty pissed off now. He picks D.R.H. up and sends him over to the ropes. D.R.H. comes back as Reed ducks AND GOOD GOD!!!!! EPILEPSY DDT ON THE BWC!!!!! HE HIT THE EPILEPSY DDT ON THE BWC!!!!! THE REFEREE DIDN'T SEE IT!!!!! D.R.H. MAKES THE COVER 1! 2! 3!!!!

HM: D.R.H. HAS DONE IT!!!! HE'S THE NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!!!!

“No More Tears” begins to play again and the fans cheer as D.R.H. gets up with the Intercontinental title and he raises it over his head as the blood drips from his face.

LN: Ladies and gentlemen your winner, and NEW Intercontinental Champion... D. R. H.!

MI: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, D.R.H. HAS BEATEN TREY REED!!!! AND HE HAS BECOME THE NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!!!! WHAT A MATCH!!!!!

HM: What a night this has been, Mike!

MI: And the best is still yet to come... first in the Death Times Three Barbed-Wire Rashambo Match, and then the Sky-High Triple Cage Death Match. This is going to get ultra-violent. MI: The cage has been lowered. It’s time for Death Times Three!!!

“More Human Than Human” by White Zombie blares on the PA as The Man They Call GRENDEL enters the bottom cage.

MB: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the Death Times Three, introducing first, from Little Rock, Arkansas, weighing in at 350 lbs….The Man They Call GRENDEL!!!!!!!

HM: The big man looks pumped. He’s got to be the favorite. “Wish” by NIN plays, and En Fuego comes to the ring with a shopping cart full of goodies. He brings the cart into the bottom cage and gets in GRENDEL’s face.

MB: From South Glens Falls, NY, weighing in at 245 pounds, The World’s Sickest S.O.B….. En Fuego!!!!!

MI: Hawk, you’ve been against this man, is he as really as sick as he says he is.

HM: Oh, it’s worse. Ask Benny tomorrow how sick Fuego is.

“Hell Yeah” by Snoop Dogg and W.C. plays as “Big Money” Benjamin G reluctantly gets into the ring, but Fuego and GRENDEL are ignoring him.

MB: And Finally, from Sitka, Alaska, weighing in at 316 lbs…. “BIG Money” Benjamin G!!!

MI: The bell rings and GRENDEL shoves Fuego, Fuego takes exception and shoves him back.

HM: Look at Benny, he don’t know what to do. I’d let them go.

MI: What the….. GRENDEL just cracked a smile? So did Fuego? Both men turn around and face Big Money. Big Money is smiling too. What the hell is going on?

HM: GRENDEL kicks Big Money in the gut, and Fuego DDT’d Money! Are GRENDEL and Fuego on the same page?

MI: GRENDEL putting the boots to Big Money and Fuego is going to the shopping cart. He pulls out a dildo wrapped in barbed wire!!

HM: Hey, that’s OMR’s! How did he get it?

MI: I don’t know, but it wasn’t what Fuego wanted, he’s reaching in for something else as GRENDEL is still stomping away on Big Money. GRENDEL is yelling something about old school to Big Money.

HM: GRENDEL is just letting him know it was guys like him and Fuego that brought Big Money to the Dance.

MI: Hawk, look what that sick bastard has.

HM: Ahhhhh hahahahaha, this doesn’t look good for Benny.

MI: Ladies and Gentlemen, you might want to put the kids to bed, En Fuego has a power drill, and that drill bit is wrapped in heavy barbed wire.

HM: GRENDEL has got a chin lock on Big Money. Fuego is now talking smack to Big Money.

MI: He just set that bit on Money’s head, HE SQUEEZED THE TRIGGER!!!!! BLOOD JUST WENT FLYING FROM BIG MONEY’S HEAD. That was disgusting.

HM: En Fuego has outdone himself again.

MI: HERE COMES TOMMY MATRIX AND BEN GENESIS!!!! Ben is trying to open the cage door and Matrix is climbing the cage! What the hell is going on here. GRENDEL and Fuego are putting the boots to Big Money.

HM: Look out Mikey, Genesis is in the cage.

MI: And Genesis spears Fuego! He gets back up and tries to spear GRENDEL, but GRENDEL side steps him, Genesis bounces back off the ropes, and nails a perfect Hate Kick!

HM: What is that weasel Matrix doing up there?

MI: Matrix has broken into the third cage!! He has the boot!! Genesis DVD’s Fuego into the shopping cart!!

HM: He’s now trying to powerbomb GRENDEL. I don’t think he can do it.

MI: Well, he just did, now he’s helping Big Money to his feet. Look at Money’s forehead, that drill tore him up. HM: I’d say so. Hell, who knows, wipe the blood away, it might be an improvement.

MI: Hawk, look at Matrix now, he’s got the boot, and he’s in the second cage. This was a set up by the Program.

HM: Too bad they weren’t 5 minutes sooner. Old man Fuego already did a number on Benny.

MI: Matrix is into the first cage now and damn it, he gave Benny the boot. Big Money directing traffic. He says he wants Fuego first. Big Money puts the boot on and laces it up. Genesis is holding up Fuego. Money kicks downstairs and finishes up with a Stunner.

HM: Well, there goes Fuego’s night. Now Genesis picks up GRENDEL. GRENDEL tries to kick at Money, but Matrix catches his leg and holds it up and Big Money kicks downstairs and delivers another Stunner.

MI: Damn it, Big Money is your winner, folks.

The lights go out

MI: Now what?

HM: Mike, did you hear that smack?

MI: Yeah, what the hell was that?

The lights come back on. Genesis is laid out and Paul The Power Richards stands over him with a chair.

MI: GOOD GOD!!! RICHARDS KNOCKED OUT GENESIS!!! AND MIKEY IS STANDING BEHIND MATRIX!!!!!!! THE WRETCHED!!!!!!!! MATRIX IS OUT!!!

HM: That just leave Money in there with Mikey and Richards. I don’t like those odds.

MI: Money is trying to beg off, but Mikey pounces! Mikey is all over Money with rights and lefts. Richards now picks up Money. BRAINBUSTER ON A CHAIR!!!!!!

HM: Money’s head is split open a bit more.

MI: Fuego and GRENDEL are back up and Fuego takes the boot off Money and he’s going back to the cart. He wraps the boot in more wire. Now he’s pouring gas on it. He’s not…..

HM: He did…

MI: He lit the boot on fire. Oh no.

HM: And he’s putting it on. This isn’t….. Oh God!

MI: HE FIELD GOAL KICKED BIG MONEY IN THE NUTS!!!!!

(The crowd boos wildly as Richards grabs the mike.)

HM: What is he doing now! He isn't even supposed to be here!

MI: He's not even signed to a contract yet!

PR: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP AND SHOW RESPECT TO THE LIVING LEGEND AND THE REST OF THE OLD SCHOOL....MIKEY! EN FUEGO! AND......THE MAN THEY CALL GRENDEL!!!!!!

Fans boo louder and some start the asshole chant.

PR: (looking at the others in the ring with them) Ya know guys, listen to them...listen to these fans. They are a microcosm of what is wrong with this industry today! Nobody respects the past, its all about what is going on now and what will be going on in the future. Well guys....its damn time we do something about that!

Mikey, Grendel, and En Fuego all nod their heads in agreement.

Paul Richards: I practically built the ICW from the ground up. I made that into the best damn promotion in this business. My sweat, my blood, my tears poured into that promotion. Nobody cared. Nobody. Nobody cares about that today. If it wasn't for me, for the other trailblazers, and all those guys that laid it on the line night in and night out in the ICW, the NEW wouldn't be here today!

About half of the fans clap

Paul Richards: The reason I came back more focused than ever is to get the respect I deserve, to beat the past into the minds of those who refuse to know it, let along respect it! There are men in the NEW locker room that know about the past, they live it and carries it with them. And those men are in the ring with me now. Those men cleared this ring of The Program, the very group that reflects the views of the general wrestling world about us trailblazers. These guys in the ring with me have been brewing this up for quite sometime. I was just the last piece of the puzzle. After I made my initial NEW return last week, Grendel sought me out in the back and ran this idea past me. I was all for it. Grendel knows what its all about, what I am all about. And that, my friends is history. Together with these guys in the ring with me, I will carry on the past. Together, we are THE OLD SCHOOL!

HM: A new group?

MI: Seems like it!

Paul Richards: Look at us! You can cut all the cute promos you want, Program. You can try to act silly with your cute little slapstick shenanigans. That wouldn't work in the old school, and that sure as hell won't work on The Old School. Look at us! We are stacked already! First off, you have one of the best high flyers I have seen. This kid impressed me during my first run in the fed. I am talking about Mikey. Secondly, oh secondly do I even need to start about this guy? Nope, but I will. This man and I had a few run-ins with each other in the ICW back when he was affiliated with a stable called Highway 666.

Some fans pop.

Paul Richards: He is one of the most hardcore bastards I have seen.....EN FUEGO! Next, we have the master of the....well, one of the co-masters of the power bomb, a man that laid it all on the line and then some back in Carnage Bowl '99. He looked death right in the face and laughed at it. He took Ares to the absolute limits of the human body and will to survive in that Niagara Falls Scaffold Match.....they just call him Grendel! Finally, you have the final piece of the puzzle, the living legend, and as far as I am concerned, the founding father of the ICW, NEW, and NEGWA.....The first-ever ICW World Champ, a three-time ICW World Champ....ME...PAUL THE POWER RICHARDS!

Fans boo.

PR: Now, if you will all shut up and show some respect to the mastermind behind The Old School...

Richards hands the mike to Grendel.

GRENDEL: Thanks big man. That's right, sports entertainment is dead, long live wrestling. Big Money what were you thinking when you agreed to a match with two of the greatest legends that the NEW had to offer. Fuego and I are both NEW Hall of Famers. I really don't have that much to say, my new friend Paul here has pretty much said it all. But I will say one thing. I know that most of you still don't like me very much after what I did to Adam Holiday. All I have to say is you'll come around. Once you get tired of this sports entertainment crap that is being presented to you by the likes of the Program, you'll get tired of it. But now that Old School is together, we will rid the NEW of this so called sports entertainment and bring back what the true wrestling fan wants and needs. And that is wrestling pure and simple. We're outta here...

GRENDEL throws the mike down to the mat with a loud thud.....As the crowd gives Old School a mixed reaction.....About half are cheering for them while the other half is booing them....

MI: Well, I’m not entirely sure what to make of that. But it seems like GRENDEL has formed a new group with Mikey, En Fuego and Paul Richards! What could possibly happen next?

HM: What, indeed?

MI: Well, fans, Clint White, Interstate announcer, is coming out to join us on commentary for this match. And as he does, we take a look back...

(A vignette starts to play of the old EGWA, at the PPV "Needful Things," of DRH fighting an intense battle with "Big Time" Tim Haught. It shows the Organization, Jade Diamond's EGWA branch of his super-stable, the Profit\\$, running out to the ring, beating both men senseless, and giving DRH the win, giving him his first World Heavyweight Title. It also shows another EGWA moment, of the Organization screwing the Hardcore Playas (Hardcore Jay and Hardcore Jones) out of the Tag Team Titles. It shows some of the NEW moments of Damage Incorporated and Interstate 999.2k1 pulling pranks on each other, until they went too far and rigged DRH's car, resulting in the death of the Hardcore Midget, a friend and former manager of DRH. The vignette ends with a shot from the Hawk Manson Invitational, of DRH and Jay staring in fury at Trey Reed and Jade Diamond.)

(Cut to a shot of the ring, which has been left lonely. We zoom the shot out slightly, and get our first look at the structure hanging above the ring.)

(Three cages...connected by bridges...lie in a triangle formation...dangling approximately fifteen feet above the ring...connected to the ground by a single ladder, leading straight up.)

(The first among them is wrapped in barbed wire.)

(The second is surging with electricity.)

(The final? Filled to the brim with weapons.)

(Cut to a shot inside the weapons cage. We see cheese graters, tables, chair, thumb tacks, ball bats, strips of sheet metal, forks, chains, ladders.)

(The match itself will be hell defined.)

(Cut to the broadcast table...)

MI: Folks, the next match on the show is one of the biggest the NEW has ever seen in terms of ambition, build up, heat, sheer ANGER...

HM: Right. Quite simply put, these two teams HATE one another!

(The house lights fade out, and then we see the following words appear on the NEW-Tron...)

(And with that, the opening words from Faith No More's “The Real Thing” gives way to "Windowlicker" by Aphex Twin, and then we see “The Draw of the NEW" Jade Diamond appear on the stage. A green spotlight zeroes in and focuses on him, standing alone. Instantly, the fans erupt into a chorus of overwhelming boos.)

MI: The people...DESPISE this man.

CW: I don't know if they despise him so much as they ENVY him...let's face it. Not one person here tonight is as rich as this man. They don't date beautiful supermodels, they don't drive his cars, they don't wear his clothes. Jade Diamond is on another level, and the fans are jealous.

(Jade simply stands there at the top of the ramp, staring out over the fans with a look of sheer disgust on his face. Green strobe lights begin to go off, as we see Bernard the Ebonics-Speaking Ninja step out onto the walkway with him. Jade's unsanctioned "ultimate athlete" championship belt is wrapped around his waist. Jade pauses a second, and then chuckles. He finishes his walk down to the bottom of the ramp, and then lowers his head.)

("I'll Rape Your Dead Gay Uncle" by Wicked Clown f. "homonecropheliac" Damien Simons starts up, as Trey Reed leaps out onto the stage.)

MI: And, here comes "the last action hero" himself, Trey Reed!

CW: What a guy he is! Go Trey!!!

(Trey stalks down the rampway, and stops to stand next to Jade. Jade turns his head slightly, smiles, and wraps his arm around Trey's shoulder in a brotherly motion. Trey grins, and then the two men start their way over to a high metal ladder which leads up to the cages.)

MI: This might just be the most dangerous match we've ever seen...

(“Enter Sandman” by Metallica starts up, as Hardcore Jay and DRH suddenly dash down the aisle, carrying with them their tag titles. They attack Jade and Trey right off the bat as the bell rings.)

MI: Here we go!!!

HM: This match has started and none of the four men are even inside the ring yet!!

MI: DRH and Jay have their tag titles, and they're brawling with Sonic Youth!!!

HM: DRH drops his title and takes the fight straight to Trey Reed!!! Jay is trading blows with Jade Diamond, and he's knocked Jade to the ground already!! Jay kicks him hard in the groin, and then leaves him lying on the ground, clutching himself!!

MI: Jay goes over to DRH, and motions for DRH to send Reed to him! Jay whips Trey...OHHH!!

HM: Jay just slammed his half of the tag titles into the face of Trey Reed!! Reed flips around, and lands hard on the ground!!!

MI: Reed is down, and now Hardcore Jay is heading over the guard railing!! he grabs a chair from the crowd, and tosses it over the railing to DRH! Jay now is...RIPPING A SECTION OF THE RAILING FREE!?

HM: We knew this was going to be a street fight right off the bat, but I don't think ANYONE expected this level of violence this EARLY!!

MI: These four men want to kill one another!!

CW: Jay has taken that section of the railing, and he sets it on the ground! DRH is kicking away at the ribs of Trey Reed!!

MI: Jay stalks over, and he signals to DRH, who lifts up Reed!! Trey is battered from his IC title match earlier in the evening!! Now, Jay grabs Reed by the hair, and he's dragging him over to the railing!! DRH grabs the chair, and then joins them! What is Damage Inc. planning for Trey Reed!?

HM: Jay sets Reed up on the railing, and then looks to DRH, who smiles! DRH backs up, and sets the chair under his arm!! he gets a running start, and then CHARGES AT JAY!!

MI: Jay flips DRH over with a backbody drop as he reaches him, and DRH FLIPS OVER AND LANDS ON TREY REED!!!!

HM: THAT STEEL CHAIR JUST CAME INTO CONTACT WITH TREY REED, WHO WAS LYING ON THE STEEL GUARD RAILING!!!

MI: GOOD LORD!!!

HM: Damage Inc; going for the early win, as Jay covers up Reed............1...............2............JADE DIAMOND FROM OUT OF NOWHERE WITH A KICK TO THE BACK OF DRH!!! COVER IS BROKEN UP!!!

MI: Now, Jay charges Jade, and fells him with a lowblow!!

HM: Jade falls to his knees, and Jay walks around!! he grabs him around the head, and HAMMERS HIM WITH A HARD RIGHT!!!

MI: Hardcore Jay is going to town on Diamond, delivering rights and lefts to the face!! Jade falls backwards, and lands on the concrete!!! Jay now begins to stomp away at him!!!

HM: A little while away, DRH and Trey Reed are still on the ground!! I don't know who got hit harded by DRH's suicide dive onto Reed - himself or his opponent!?

MI: Now, Reed is slowly getting to his feet, and so is DRH...they notice one another....DRH charges Reed, but REED COUNTERS WITH A SUPERKICK!!! DRH GOES DOWN AGAIN!!!

HM: DRH is lying on the ground, and Reed takes advantage!! He grabs the section of the railing, and then THROWS IT AT DRH!!! OHHHHHH!!!

MI: The railing just bounced off of DRH's head!! What carnage!!

HM: DRH is braindead...moreso than before!!!

MI: Jade Diamond is slowly trying to get to his feet, but Hardcore Jay takes a back step...runs....tries to kick Jade in the ribs, but Jade grabs Jay's leg and sweeps it out from under him!!

HM: Jay hits the ground, and Jade still has his leg! Jade takes the leg, pulls it apart into a wishbone...OHHH!!!

MI: JADE GOES DOWNSTAIRS ON JAY WITH A LEGDROP!!!

HM: Jay is hurting!!! Now, Jade grabs Jay, and pulls him to his feet! IRISH WHIP!! Jay is sent flying right into the ladder!!!

MI: Jade runs now, and wheel kicks Jay!!! Jay was just wheel kicked into the ladder!!!

HM: Now, Jade jerks Jay around...DDT!!! DDT RIGHT ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!!

MI: Jade has a hold of Jay's hair, and he's DRAGGING HIM OVER TO THE LADDER!!!

HM: Jade is motioning up!! They're going to climb up the ladder into the cages!!!

We see Jade Diamond continue to pull on Hardcore Jay's hair...then grab a rung of the ladder...and begin to climb.

MI: GOOD GOD!!! Jade Diamond and Hardcore Jay are heading up the ladder!!!

They continue to scale the ladder, as we cut to a shot of DRH and Trey Reed caught in a test of strength.

MI: They're locked in a grapple....OHH!!

HM: Reed with a kick to the gut! DRH doubles over, and he's leaning down! REED WITH AN AXE KICK!!!

MI: Now, Trey Reed grabs DRH, and he's pulling him to his feet!! REED WITH A WHIP!! DRH crashes into the guard railing!!! This match has been outright chaos!!

HM: Reed charges, and he's looking for a splash onto DRH!! OH! DRH dodges, and then Reed spills over the railing into the crowd!!! Now, DRH is to his feet, and he's smirking! DRH hops the railing, and he's getting weapons from the fans!! FOLKS!!

MI: One of the fans has a cheese grater!! He hands it to DRH, who screams aloud and holds the grater high above his head!! OHHHHH!!!!

HM: CHEESE GRATER TO THE HEAD!!! CHEESE GRATER TO THE HEAD!!!

DRH TOOK THE CHEESE GRATER TO THE CRANIUM OF TREY REED!!!

MI: And, we've got our first bleeder of the match!!!

HM: The first of MANY, you mean!!

MI: Now, DRH has pulled up Trey Reed, and he sends him flying over the railing with another Irish whip!! Trey flips over the railing and lands hard on the inside of the ringside area!! DRH hops the railing, and they're heading for the ladder!!

HM: Speaking of which, Jade Diamond and Hardcore Jay have reached the top, and Jade is trying to shove Jay into the opening....it doesn't appear to be working...

MI: Jade is trying to push Jay up into the opening in the bottom of the cage...OHHHHH MYYYY GOOOODDDD!!!!

HM: JAY KICKED JADE!!! JADE FLIES BACKWARD OFF THE LADDER, BUT HE GRABS ONTO A RUNG OF THE LADDER AROUND HALFWAY DOWN!!! HE SLAMS INTO THE SIDE OF THE LADDER, BUT HE'S STILL HANGING ON!!!!

MI: JADE DIAMOND IS HANGING FROM THE MIDDLE REGION OF THE LADDER, SOMEWHERE AROUND EIGHT FEET OFF OF THE GROUND!!!!!

HM: THIS IS BAD!!!

MI: Hardcore Jay is slowly climbing through the opening of the cage, and now Jade Diamond is coming up as well!!! He's scaling the ladder, and we see Hardcore Jay grabbing something from the first cage...the weapons cage!!!

HM: He's got a trash can!!!

MI: Jade Diamond has reached the top of the ladder, and he pulls himself into the slot.....TRASHCAN!!! TRASHCAN TO THE SKULL OF JADE DIAMOND!!!

HM: Jade nearly fell again, but he manages to pull himself into the cage!!!!

MI: Hardcore Jay immediately grabs him again, and then begins to stomp away at him!!! Hardcore Jay is relentless!!!

HM: Down on the ground, DRH has Trey Reed, and he hooks his head!!!

MI: It looks as though DRH is calling for an epilepsy DDT...

HM: NO!! NO!!!

MI: Trey Reed counters with a FISHERMAN'S BUSTER!!! FISHERMAN'S BUSTER BY TREY REED RIGHT ONTO THE CONCRETE!!!

HM: Now, DRH is down, and Reed is slowly getting to his feet!!! Reed grabs DRH by the hair, and then SLAMS HIS HEAD INTO THE STEEL LADDER!!!

MI: DRH'S HEAD BOUNCED OFF THE LADDER!!!!!

HM: Reed grabs DRH by the hair once again, twists....SITOUT FACE BUSTER!!! FACE BUSTER BY TREY REED AND DRH'S HEAD SMACKED OFF OF THE CONCRETE!!!

MI: Now, Reed quickly to his feet, and he scrambles up the ladder!!

HM: Inside the cage, Jay is still taking it to Jade Diamond, slamming the trashcan over his fallen body!! Reed crawls through the opening....he charges Jay....DROPKICK!!

MI: Jay's head was sent flying into the wall of the weapons cage!!!

HM: Now, Reed is checking on Diamond, and both men are getting to their feet!!!

MI: Hardcore Jay is stuck alone....inside a weapons cage....with SONIC YOUTH!!

HM: This is bad for him!!!

MI: We've never known SY to get violent in their time, however, I guess this is is just as good a time as ever!! Trey Reed is getting that dented-up trashcan that Jay was using, while Jade is pulling up Jay! OH!! Jade with a knife-edge chop to the chest of Jay!!!

HM: Reed now has the trashcan, and he's motioning to Jade Diamond...who takes Hardcore Jay...Irish whips him....FACEFIRST INTO THE TRASH CAN!!!!

MI: JAY'S HEAD COLLIDED WITH THE STEEL TRASHCAN!!!

HM: GOOD LORD!!! His head came in contact with a side that was dented outward...IT HIT JAY IN THE FACE, AND HE'S BLEEDING!!!

MI: BOTH TREY REED AND HARDCORE JAY ARE BLEEDING!!!

HM: Jay is damaged, and Jade has the trashcan once again!! What's he doing....

MI: He sets it across the ribs of Jay!!!

HM: Now, Reed is climbing to the top rope inside of the weapons cage!! He's standing up there, and it looks as though he's going for a moonsault!!!

MI: WAIT! DRH is in the cage, and he grabs Jade, and nails him with a reverse DDT!!!

HM: Sonic Youth has no clue that DRH is in the cage! DRH is waiting for Reed to move...

HM: REED DIVES OFF OF THE TOP ROPE OF THE RING AND LANDS IN A MOONSAULT ONTO HARDCORE JAY WITH A TRASHCAN ON HIS STOMACH!!!!

MI: WHAT A MOVE!!! REED COVERS.....1......2....BROKEN UP BY DRH!!!

CW: Now, DRH helps Jay up, and then runs at the doubled over Reed....KICK TO THE RIBS!!!

HM: ALL FOUR MEN ARE IN THE CAGES!!! This match has only truly began now!!!

MI: Damage Inc. starts off with a heavy assault!!! DRH clobbers Jade over the head with the BWC, now Trey, sets the BWC down, and SPIKE PILEDRIVER ON TREY REED into the BWC by DRH and Jay!!! What an offense! Now Jade is back up and hits Jay with a full nelson slam from behind, now Jade and DRH square off! They grapple and Jade takes the advantage with a double underhook suplex!

CW: Now Jay grabs Jade Diamond and lays him out with a DDT!!! The enraged Damage Incorporated has been dominating this match so far! Now DRH is pulling up Trey Reed and dragging him along to the Meat Locker Cage! And Jay has Jade and is heading towards the Electric Barbed Wire Cage of Death! Jay and Jade are trading blows, but the Draw takes the advantage and drop kicks Hardcore Jay down!

MI: Meanwhile, DRH is punching the crap out of Trey Reed in the Meat Locker! Now him and Trey grapple, but Trey gets the advantage with a side suplex! DRH is back up, Trey send him down with an hip toss and drops a leg on him! Trey must be freezing in that singlet in the refrigerated Meat Locker, while DRH is probably warm in those jeans and shirt! But the cold isn't on Trey's mind, only destroying DRH!!! He has the Technician of Hardcore in a camel clutch, but DRH rolls him over and starts choking him!

HM: Over in the Electric Barbed Wire Cage of Death, Jay and Jade are battling out! Jade capitalizes and lifts Hardcore Jay up for a crucifix powerbomb...but Jay slips out and takes him down with a clothesline! Jade comes back, but Jay takes him down with a belly-to-belly suplex!!! Jay is mounted on top of him, and the Hardcore Icon is punching the Draw senseless! Whether it's pure talent or just the alcohol, Hardcore Jay is an ass-whooping machine!

MI: Trey gouges DRH in the eyes and breaks free. Trey Reed is on the offensive! He takes DRH down with a big Samoan drop and lifts his leg! 1...2...No! Near fall, but the Craziest Son Of A Bitch in NEW kicked out! Now he's doing just that, kicking out...the life from Trey Reed! A field kick to the nether regions of the Last Action Hero! Now he grabs him in a 3/4 facelock, and gives the sign by pointing to the crowd...and drops him with an Ace Crusher, driving his shoulder into the jaw of Trey Reed!!!

CW: Meanwhile, Hardcore Jay is in it bad with the Jadester! Jade delivers a few European uppercuts, gets a front facelock...and drops the Hardcore Icon with a brainbuster suplex! He pulls Jay up, who's fighting back some heavy punches! He throws Jade into the corner, but Jade rebounds off the second turnbuckle with a BIG Asai moonsault!!! Jay is back up and charges at the Draw, but he sends him down with a uranage!!! This isn't looking good for the Hardcore Icon! Jade grabs Jay by the back of his head and pulls him up! He's leading him over the ropes and the wall of that electrified barbed-wire-wrapped cage! He tries slamming his head into it...BUT JAY REVERSES and throws Jade Diamond into the electrified barbed wire!!! I think I just saw sparks fly out of his ass!!!

MI: Back in the Meat Locker, DRH just took Trey Reed down with a high-angle suplex! Now he grabs him in a headlock and runs towards the corner! He runs up the turnbuckle with Trey Reed still in the headlock and is attempting a swinging bulldog BUT HE SLIPS OFF THE ICY CAGE WALL AND LANDS HARD ON HIS CHEST AND TREY REED NOW HAS HIM IN A CRIPPLER CROSSFACE!!!!!!! DRH is in a massive amount of pain now!!! Trey Reed keeps pulling his head back!!! DRH is writhing in pain, but he won't tap!!! He's reaching desperately for the rope, but Trey keeps trying to pull his head off! He makes it and the ref breaks the hold! DRH comes back with an avalanche of punches, but Reed ducks behind him and takes him out with a reverse DDT!!!

HM: Hardcore Jay has his Singapore cane in the Electric Barbed Wire Cage of Death now! He assaults Jade and is wearing him out with the Singapore cane!!! Jade is out cold and Jay pins the Draw! 1...2...No, Jader kicks out of that one! The two are all-out brawling now with a flurry of punches and kicks! Jade whips Hardcore Jay into the corner, runs, AND RUNS STRAIGHT UP JAY'S TORSO, KICKS HIS JAW, AND FLIPS BACK TO HIS FEET!!! An amazing somersault kick by Jade Diamond!!! Jay falls forward and Jade Diamond starts stomping on the Hardcore Icon!!! He won't stop, but Jay makes him stop with a leg drag! Jay is up and has Jade down...he spreads his legs, and drops a big elbow to the nether regions of Jade Diamond!!! Jay pulls Jade up and underhooks his arms!!! He hits Jade with a storm of DRH-style headbutts!!!! 1...2...3...4...BUT JADE REVERSE TIGER SUPLEXES JAY INTO THE ELECTRIFIED BARBED WIRE!!!!! THE HARDCORE ICON JUST FELT 2,000 VOLTS!!!!!!!!

MI: Trey Reed and DRH are brawling back into the Weapons Cage while Jade and Hardcore Jay remain in the Electric Barbed Wire Cage of Death!!! Trey grabs a steel chair and cracks DRH over the head!!! He sends a few more chair shots DRH's way...but the Technician of Hardcore doesn't even look to be phased by it!!! DRH grabs the chair, and the two are fighting for possession of, but DRH lets Trey have it and the Last Action Hero smacked himself in the face with it!!! DRH grabs a trashcan from beside the cage wall and charges at Trey Reed but Reed drop toe holds DRH and he hits his head on his own chair!!! Now the Last Action Hero is locking a painful anklelock submission hold on Mr. Insanity!!! He's tearing every tendon in DRH's foot with that move and DRH is screaming in pain!!! He's reaching for something but not the ring ropes...

HM: IT’S THE BWC!!! HE GRABS HIS BARBED-WIRE CHAIR AND SLAMS IT ACROSS THE FACE OF TREY REED!!! DRH sets up another chair near the corner post and he's waiting for Trey Reed to get up!!! The dazed Reed is stumbling to his feet, and DRH, with the BWC in hand, takes off, jumps up on top of the chair, jumps to the top rope, AND LEAPS OFF WITH AND PLOWS TREY REED WITH THE SUICIDAL FLYING CHAIR DIVE!!!!!! WHAT A DAREDEVIL MOVE BY THE TECHNICIAN OF HARDCORE!!!!!!

MI: Now here comes Jade Diamond and Hardcore Jay out of the Electrified Barbed Wire Cage of Death!!! Jade kicks DRH from behind, drops his BWC, AND SCISSOR KICKS DRH'S FACE INTO HIS BWC!!!!! Now Hardcore Jay grabs Jade from behind and takes him down with a German suplex!!! Now Trey Reed goes for Hardcore Jay AND LAYS HIM FLAT WITH HIS SCM SUPERKICK!!!!!! DRH takes Trey from behind, and DRH sends his testes into his throat with a high atomic drop!!!! Trey is clutching his nether region in pain, and DRH charges at Jade Diamond!!! But Diamond fights back, lifts him up, and takes him down with a Michinoku driver!!! CW: Oh no, now Hardcore Jay is back up and just grabbed an X-Box system off the wall of that cage!

MI: OLD SCHOOL EGWA WITH THE VIDEO SYSTEM!!

HM: Jade is putting a Boston crab on DRH, but Hardcore Jay comes from behind and starts STRANGLING JADE with the X-Box controller!!! But Trey Reed has the X-Box console and slams Jay over the head with it! Jay releases, now Trey sets the X-Box down, Trey flapjacks Jay over his shoulders, Jade grabs his head, AND JADE MAT SLAMS HIS HEAD INTO THE X-BOX, CRUSHING IT!!!

MI: Now they're both stomping away at Jay and Trey is twisting his arm in a painful armbar...but they seem to have forgotten about DRH! Mr. Insanity has taken advantage and has been setting up a table behind Sonic Youth!

DRH grabs a small bag off the wall of the cage and motions to the fans, who cheer because they know what is....

MI: OH MY GOD!!!!!!! RUSTY NAILS!!!!!! DRH IS COVERING THAT TABLE IN RUSTY NAILS!!!!!!! DRH taps Trey Reed on the shoulder, who's distracted with Hardcore Jay! Trey turns...and DRH flicks him off!!!!!! Trey attempts a frankensteiner BUT DRH REVERSES IT INTO A POWERBOMB!!!!!! A HUGE POWERBOMB STRAIGHT THROUGH THAT RUSTY NAIL-COVERED TABLE!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!

HM: Looks like somebody's going to need a tetanus shot after this match! Now Jade Diamond storms over at DRH and begins trading blows with him, but he forgot all about Hardcore Jay! The Hardcore Icon knocks him forward with a lariat, DRH catches him, and Japanese armdrags the Draw on top of the unconscious Trey Reed! Now Hardcore Jay climbs up to the top turnbuckle...and he's grabbing a football helmet off the cage wall behind it and putting it on. Now DRH is spreading the downed Jade Diamond's legs upon and facing Diamond's groin towards the turnbuckle...oh shit!!!!!! KAMIKAZE HEADBUTT STRAIGHT INTO THE GROIN OF JADE DIAMOND WITH THE FOOTBALL HELMET ON!!!!!!!

Fans: HOLY-SHIT!!!!!!!! HOLY-SHIT!!!!!!! HOLY-SHIT!!!!!!!!!

MI: Now, Jade Diamond is down, and DRH seems to be signalling to Hardcore Jay for something!! Jay is heading for the cage wall!!! What is he thinking!?

CW: Jay is....SCALING THE WALL!!! HARDCORE JAY IS GOING UP THE SIDE OF THE CAGE!!!

MI: He sure is!! Jay is going up the side, and it appears as though Trey Reed is slowly getting to his feet as well!!! HM: Folks, both of these men are heading up the cage wall!!! Jay is almost up there, and he's just noticed Trey Reed climbing as well!!! Reed has grabbed the top of the cage, and he's pulling himself up!!!

MI: One man from each tag team is at the top of the cage!!! Now, Jay has grabbed Reed around the side of the head, and he's pounding away at him!!!

Down below, we see several members of the NEW damage control unit dragging a table under the hanging cages.

HM: It looks like they're going to try to break the inevitable fall of one of, if not both of, these men!!!

MI: Jay and Reed are going to town on one another!! Reed with rights and lefts, Jay with some of his own!!! Down below, DRH has grabbed a trashcan again!!! He looks up...and he appears to be aiming at something....

HM: He throws the can up.....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

MI: IT HITS REED, WHO BEGINS TO FALL, BUT HE GRABS ONTO HARDCORE JAY!!!!! BOTH OF THOSE MEN ARE FALLING!!!!! BOTH FALL!!!! BOTH FALL!!!! BOTH FALL!!!!

CW: My...God.

MI: RIGHT!!! EXACTLY!!!! THAT'S IT!!!! THEY BOTH FELL AT LEAST THIRTY FEET FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE!!!!

CW: I'm...I'm not sure, but it looks as if Jay and Reed both managed to plunge through that table...Jesus...

We see damage control hauling stretchers down the aisle.

CW: They're loading up both Trey Reed and Hardcore Jay....this is bad, folks.

MI: Inside of the cage, DRH is staring down as if he's truly terrified!!

HM: However...my lord, Jade Diamond is getting up, and stepping behind DRH!

MI: DRH has no clue...and JADE DIAMOND GRABS HIM FROM BEHIND AND LIFTS HIM UP INTO THE DIAMOND DREAM!!!! DIAMOND DREAM THAT LANDS DRH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CAGE FLOOR!!!!!

CW: DRH is down...JADE COVERS!!! 1...........2............

MI: KICKOUT!!!! DRH KICKED OUT OF THE DIAMOND DREAM!!!

HM: Jade Diamond looks horrified!!!

MI: Now, he's climbing to his feet, and he's just looking around!!!

We see the stretchers being wheeled out of the arena. HM: Hardcore Jay and Trey Reed are going to get medical attention, but we've still got two men up there in the triple cage structure!!! Slowly, DRH is getting to his feet, and Jade Diamond appears to be looking for something to use against him!!! Jade finds a broken hunk of that shattered x-box, and picks it up. As he turns around...

MI: ....DRH WITH A WHEELKICK!!! JADE DIAMOND IS DOWN!!!

CW: These two men are exhausted, though!!! They fought on the ground, men are slammed into the electric wall of the cage, chairs, tacks, christ knows what all!! What else can they do to one another!?!?

MI: Well, Jade has something in mind, I think!!! He's searching through the rubble inside of the weapons cage....HE'S FOUND A SLEDGEHAMMER!!!! JESUS CHRIST, JADE DIAMOND HAS FOUND A SLEDGEHAMMER!!!

CW: Now, he notices DRH getting up, and he's motioning for him....TO THE CAGE WALL!?!?

MI: JADE IS CLIMBING UP THE SIDE OF THE CAGE!!! HE'S CALLING FOR DRH TO FOLLOW!!!!

CW: "The Draw" is climbing with that sledgehammer in one hand, and things are about to get ugly!!!!

MI: Jade has reached the top of the cage, and he's...walking!?

HM: Jade Diamond is headed for the scaffolding that is set up atop all three cages!!! That one beam connecting things at the top!!! THIS IS GOING TO BE BAD!!!

MI: DRH has scrambled up the wall, and now he's standing!!! JADE IS MOTIONING FOR HIM TO FOLLOW FURTHER!!!

HM: DRH does so, and he's set his foot on the scaffolding!!! Jade charges immediately....SLEDGEHAMMER TO THE STOMACH!!! DRH DOUBLES OVER, AND NOW JADE WITH A KICK TO THE HEAD!!! DRH FLIES BACKWARDS....AND THUDS AGAINST ONE OF THE STEEL CABLES HOLDING THINGS TOGETHER!!!

MI: JADE HAS THE SLEDGEHAMMER AGAIN...he's backing up...what the hell is Jade Diamond planning here?

HM: Jade charges DRH, swings the hammer....DRH MOVES!!!! JADE DIAMOND HIT THE SUPPORT CABLE!!!!

MI: JADE HIT THE CABLE....IT SNAPPED!!!! MY GOOD GRACIOUS GOD, THE CABLE SNAPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CW: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!

MI: THE CABLE BROKE!!!! THE ENTIRE STRUCTURE HAS BROKEN LOOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CW: THE CAGES HAVE TILTED SLIGHTLY....AND JADE AND DRH ARE STILL UP THERE!!!!!!!

MI: Jade marches over to DRH, and he pulls him up!!! He's dragging DRH over to the side of the cage....DRH COUNTERS WITH A LOWBLOW!!!!!!

HM: Jade was slammed in the groin, and now DRH grabs HIM!

MI: DRH has him by the hair...he runs....HE THREW JADE DIAMOND OFF OF THE SCAFFOLDING DOWN INTO THE WEAPONS CAGE BELOW!!!!!!!! JADE LANDED IN THE SIDE OPPOSITE THE CAGE WAS HANGING..................AND THE IMPACT.....

HM: My God.

MI: Folks....I don't know what to say....THE ENTIRE THREE CAGE STRUCTURE JUST FELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HM: ALL THREE CAGES......HAVE FALLEN FIFTEEN FEET TO THE RINGSIDE AREA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CW: Ok...I have never...seen anything....like that.

MI: Jesus, folks...Jade and DRH are dead.

CW: This is bad...all three cages just collapsed on top of one another and then fell fifteen feet...and I think we might've just witnessed a murder right here tonight.

HM: Medics have hit the ring, and they're clearing out the rubble that WAS an electrified death cage, a weapons cage, and a barbed wire cage...this is bad. Very, very bad.

MI: Damage control is digging around...and they've got something....IT'S THE SHATTERED SKULL OF DAVE THE SKULL!!! DAVE THE SKULL WAS CRUSHED WHEN THE THREE CAGES FELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HM: D. R. H. will be heartbroken when he learns what happened to Dave... if he ever regains consciousness.

MI: Fans, we're out of time, this match has been declared a draw. Sweet God have mercy.

Fade to black....